Tag Archives : beta mummy

Death by laundry…


Dirty laundry (the literal kind) is the bane of my existence.  I don’t know where it all comes from but it seems to breed like some kind of evil comic-book fungus.  Occasionally I find actual fungus, if I manage to get somewhere near the dark, dank depths of the lower reaches of my laundry basket.

Beta Mummy Doesn’t Share Her Chocolate!


Beta Mummy is rather possessive when it comes to her little sweet treats.  (She’s quite happy to share the kids’ chocolate, though, that’s totally fine). Alpha Mummy probably doesn’t eat chocolate (she’s one of those super-healthy, grow-your-own, gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan, fruitarian, paleo, farmers’ market-buying, non-sugar eating types) but if she did it’d probably be the best chocolate in the world… …

Beta Mummy Dreads…WORLD BOOK DAY


Thursday 1st March 2018 is World Book Day.

Beta Mummies, do not panic! I repeat, DO NOT PANIC!

(OK, panic just a little bit, after all this is one of the most dreaded days of the school year for useless mothers like me who don’t do sewing or crafty shit).

Chicken Pox Survival: A Beta Mummy Guide.


Chicken pox is one of those crappy rites of passage we go through as parents – along with weaning, potty training, accidentally ingesting a bit of your child’s puke (no? Just me?), etc.  We have recently been through this particular delight, so I thought I’d write my very own Beta Mummy guide to coping with it.

Beta Mummy’s Attempt at Leaving the House


Leaving the house becomes a military exercise once you have children. A military exercise that involves pain, carnage, tears, shouting, and possibly loss of life, or at least loss of the will to live. These days, I have one child to get to nursery, one to get to school, and myself to get to work. Thanks to “flexible working”, I…

Beta Mummy gets Board to Death


I used to love a good board game, me. Scrabble, Monopoly, Rapidough – there’s a game for every sort of occasion, from a cosy Winter’s afternoon in with your love, to an increasingly-drunken night with your best mates.  Sigh.  I can’t remember the last time I played a proper grown ups game.  Now my occasional forays into board games involve either educational bollocks or spending three times as long setting the thing up as actually playing it. 

doodle showing bedtime in the Alpha house and the Beta house. You can guess which one is a more relaxing affair...

Bedtime with Alpha Mummy & Beta M-zzzzzzz


Bedtime.  Most days I look forward to the sweet release of death bedtime by about 9:30am.  I love the very bones of my children, but my god, by the time about 5pm comes around I am ready to commit some sort of crime.

Alpha Mummy having coffee (decaff) with her little angels, whilst Beta Mummy is receiving an intravenous coffee as the feral children run riot.

COFFEE! Screams Beta Mummy. Coffee NOW!


I love a good coffee shop, me.  Whenever I get some child-free time, I inevitably scurry off to my favourite independent cafe, where I can have a lovely hot cuppa and eat a nice piece of homemade cake in peace.  I have spent many a happy hour doodling and writing in a coffee shop, fueled by caffeine and cake.

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