Beta Mummy’s Beauty Essentials.

I’ll say this now to save your efforts if you are looking for genuine beauty advice – you sure as hell won’t find it here.

If the only three people left on the planet were you, me, and Donald Trump, you’d most certainly be better off going to him for advice on which BB cream to use (I’m not actually sure what that even is) or how best to style your hair (I do “down”, or “ponytail”).  I’m not sure why you would care about your hair style if you were one of only three people left on the planet, particularly if one of the others was Donald Trump, but I digress…

There’s a bit of a “thing” about how women let themselves go after becoming a mum. Well, I didn’t let myself go.  I’m not sure I ever really “had” myself in the first place.

I’m just not into that sort of stuff.  I am totally in awe of (and slightly intimidated by, truth be told) those women/mums who manage to look amazing ALL OF THE TIME, but it’s just not me.  I am Beta Mummy, and here is what constitutes my Top 5 Beauty Must-Haves:

Hey, I’m low-maintenance!  😉

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  • moderatemum 04/04/2016 at 4:02 pm

    Love the little arrows for the baby wipes. I feel you 😀

  • Mum-Work-Repeat 04/04/2016 at 6:42 pm

    I’m definitely with you re the shaving, completely grossed myself out at yoga today when I was too close for comfort to my legs!

  • twotinyhands 06/04/2016 at 6:30 am

    Ha ha! I’m with you! My beauty habits have remained the same since baby! If anything I shower more now as I exercise more some how! Granted they are very quick showers with a small child looking up at me!

  • min1980 06/04/2016 at 8:09 am

    I’ve never been very good at hair and makeup, but I used to be a pretty snappy dresser before I had Piglet, so things have definitely taken a slide in that department. However, before parenthood I had little idea of the benefits of dry shampoo, so my knowledge has certainly increased in that regard! #BloggerClubUK

  • Catie: An Imperfect Mum 06/04/2016 at 8:13 am

    I am sure you observe me!!! We could be twins. I swear by dry shampoo now.

  • Kat 06/04/2016 at 8:32 am

    I love your little drawing! 😀 There are times when I go all out, BB cream and all but then there are days like today where I’m just feeling a bath will do. Dry shampoo is pretty useful though! #bloggerclubuk

  • theparentingjungle 06/04/2016 at 11:28 am

    I love your doodles..though if I drew myself I have to admit I think I would have to draw the boobs 2 cm lower…Dry shampoo is my saviour..though I did accidently spray it under my armpits the other morning half asleep.. I did this to myself earlier as a joke about my lack of beauty understanding I recon it will give you a giggle. Looking forward to reading more of your posts lovely, I can totally associate with them and you always make me smile! #bloggerclubuk

    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 06/04/2016 at 11:40 am

      Ahhhh this is such a nice comment, thank you! I saw that photo earlier – hilarious! You are nuts, but clearly share my lack of knowledge about contouring… 😉 x

      • theparentingjungle 06/04/2016 at 11:44 am

        I think it is the right of every parent to be crackers. Especially if they slept for 2 hours last night 😉 Just enjoying your doodle of the car ride!xx

  • Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding) 07/04/2016 at 7:16 am

    I LOVE this – I don’t even know how some of these Mum’s manage to look so great, I didn’t manage that even before I had children. And the doodle, depicting the use of baby wipes, fantastic, we have all been there!

  • queenofmycastlesite 07/04/2016 at 7:18 pm

    drawings are so funny. I loved this one. even though my smug smile faded at the leggings. guess I am a beta mummy after all. Leggings are so comfy,….

  • Louise 08/04/2016 at 6:56 am

    Love the drawing and can relate to a lot of these too – especially the baby wipes, dry shampoo and leggings to cover the hairy legs! 🙂 #familyfun

  • Life Love and Dirty Dishes 08/04/2016 at 3:30 pm

    I have no idea what BB cream is either. I do miss being able to paint my nails though. Nowadays some ones butt always needs wiping before they have had a chance to dry! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  • rachelbustin blog (@RachelBustin) 09/04/2016 at 5:33 pm

    Haha I love this post! Its given me a huge smile! I know what you mean – I am a first time mummy to baby girl who is nearly 9 weeks old. My legs havent seen a shave since last summer! xx


  • Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding) 09/04/2016 at 6:24 pm

    Love this, still made me chuckle reading it a second time round! – so pleased you added to #PuddingLove Thank you

  • Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) 11/04/2016 at 9:03 am

    hahahaha thats bloody awesome and literally my regime! Unless of course someone will hold bubba for 5 mins and I actually manage to whack on some mascara!! x

  • Agent Spitback 11/04/2016 at 1:10 pm

    Ooohhh, so love your drawing!!! Yep, I’m rather low maintenance myself and I must say leggings would be a great cover! #Pocolo

  • mudpiefridays 11/04/2016 at 9:39 pm

    I can so relate to the dry shampoo especially with a fringe I use it a lot! I love your pictures and witty writing it always makes me laugh – thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week x

  • Morgan Prince 13/04/2016 at 8:41 pm

    Love, Love, LOVE this! I am SO not into all that faffing with hair and nails nonsense. Of course, I will admit to the regular trip to the hairdressers. Having kids at school means I get to do that! 😉
    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo

  • islandliving365 17/04/2016 at 9:09 am

    Love the doodles that you use to illustrate your point and this has reminded me that I very much to invest in dry shampoo 😉 #KCACOLS

  • Baby Anon 17/04/2016 at 11:09 am

    Love this. This sounds like my Mother whose beauty regime is 1.shower 2. change into clean pyjamas 3. repeat x #KCACOLS

  • Motherhood IRL 17/04/2016 at 11:54 am

    Totally with you. I wash my hair twice a week (the days I work) and use moisturiser. That’s kind of it! #KCACOLS

  • babiesbiscuitsandbooze 17/04/2016 at 2:19 pm

    I am so glad I clicked on this as the title isn’t something I would normally read but I had a sneaky suspicion it might make me laugh…! I use talcum powder instead of dry shampoo which I think makes me even lower maintenance hehe. And who can survive without baby wipes? #KCACOLS

  • rightroyalmother 17/04/2016 at 8:47 pm

    I don’t know what BB cream is either. Actually genuinely thought it was something you needed if you’d shot yourself with a little gun when a friend first told me about it (no lie). Love, LOVE your doodles … let’s meet up; you’ll see there’s another Beta Mummy living in Hampshire ..:) #KCACOLS

    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 17/04/2016 at 8:48 pm

      Ha ha that is so funny! Thank you, would love to meet up, providing wine is involved 😉

      • rightroyalmother 17/04/2016 at 8:50 pm

        Well, of COURSE! 🙂 X

  • Katy (@hotpinkwellies) 18/04/2016 at 2:45 pm

    Although I do love my beauty products, I have to admit that dry shampoo is my lifesaver for those ‘can’t be bothered days’. I had one of those days today, and also didn’t bother with makeup, brushing hair, or a shower before heading out (splitting headache meant I could barely function but since I was still in charge of a toddler, staying in wasn’t an option). Typical that looking like such a state, I bumped into 3 people I know on a quick 10 minute walk! #KCACOLS

  • rachelbustin blog (@RachelBustin) 21/04/2016 at 1:39 pm

    Here again from the #KCACOLS linky, still loving this post! xx

  • A Moment with Franca 23/04/2016 at 10:59 am

    haha I love it!! It is just so difficult to keep looking good after having kids. I have lots of days that I’m like that! I’m with you about the dry shampoo!! It is a luxury to wash your hair every day!! I have long hair so it is such an effort to have it done. I actually love that the weather is changing so when I wash it I can leave it wet all day!! Love your drawing!! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I’m so happy to have you for the first time!! I really hope that you enjoyed it and that you would like to come back tomorrow, 🙂 xx

  • Beta Mummy is let loose on BML16! – The Adventures of Beta Mummy 26/05/2016 at 8:54 pm

    […] most of the time. However, given that I’ll be child-free for the day, I shall implement my full beauty regime in an attempt to look marginally more human. BML, you are […]

  • kristine gibbons 24/11/2016 at 10:32 pm

    we went to a playgroup today and there was a clique of very well made up mums. made me feel pretty shitty about my scrapes back hair in a pony tail and sick covered top. I honestly don’t not no how they maintain it when do they find the time. I really want to ask them but I was afraid lol


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