Browsing Category : Beta Mummy Ramblings

The Mums’ Night Out.


It goes pretty much without saying that, once you’re a mum, your social life changes somewhat.  Spontaneous nights out become a thing of the past, now you have babies/children to feed, put to bed, organise a babysitter for.  Drinking heavily into the wee small hours is no longer a great idea, not now that the wee small hours is precisely when you’re likely to be woken up by a demand for Cheerios and Peppa.  Besides, a hangover hardly bears thinking about when you have noisy little dictators to manage in the morning, AND will sacrificing several hours of (potential) sleep be worth it, given your cumulative sleep deficit?

Beta Mummy’s Trampoline Shame


This one happened after Feral Child #2 was born. You’d think that by this stage, (now an “experienced mum” as my health visitor hilariously once described me), I’d have known better. But no.

Beta Mummy’s Beauty Essentials.


I’ll say this now to save your efforts if you are looking for genuine beauty advice – you sure as hell won’t find it here.

If the only three people left on the planet were you, me, and Donald Trump, you’d most certainly be better off going to him for advice on which BB cream to use (I’m not actually sure what that even is) or how best to style your hair (I do “down”, or “ponytail”).  I’m not sure why you would care about your hair style if you were one of only three people left on the planet, particularly if one of the others was Donald Trump, but I digress…

Tea – a Tribute


I love tea.  I just love it.  The taste of it, the warming effect it has, the ritual of making it. (The cake I eat with it…)

Except wait.  No longer can I enjoy a simple cup of tea, one of life’s little pleasures.

Introducing Alpha Mummy and Beta Mummy


This site is all about Alpha Mummy and Beta Mummy (or Alpha Mum and Beta Mum, if your kids are a bit older, I suppose).  The poem below attempts – demonstrating genius literary prowess, I’m sure you’ll agree – to explain a little about Alpha and Beta, and the great spectrum of parenthood.