Beta Mummy Ramblings Archives - Page 2 of 3 - The Adventures of Beta Mummy

Doodle of Alpha Mummy joyfully skipping through the autumn leaves

Why I f*cking hate the Autumn!

**WARNING – MOANY McMOANISON IS IN THE BUILDING**

Autumn (or Fall, for my trans-Atlantic readers). I hate it. My Instagram feed is full of people looking happy in cable-knit sweaters and kicking through leaves with their cherubic ruddy-cheeked children as the sun shines down from a brilliant blue sky. Slow-cooker suppers and cinnamon lattes and plans for Halloween and Bonfire Night parties and cosy nights in. But I make no excuses for being a miserable old bat when it comes to this time of year.

How to be a good friend to a newly-single mum

Splitting up with a long-term partner is really shit. Whether it was her decision or his decision, on good terms or bad, it’s bound to be painful and upsetting. Throw a kid or two (or more) into the mix, and things become even more difficult. If you have a single mummy friend who has recently gone through a split from her husband or partner, here are some ways that you could be a good friend to her…

Doodle of Alpha Mummy and Beta Mummy having a hug

Even Alpha Mummies struggle…

I have created a whole world of doodles laughing about the fact that I (er…I mean Beta Mummy…not based on reality at all…ahem) can’t really cope with my kids, that my life has been turned entirely on its head by family life, and that basically I am one big mess. I write and doodle to make people laugh – and people do! They identify with me, they laugh at (with?!) me – and let’s face it, a huge proportion of the issues that affect parents every day are funny. Or at least have a funny side, even if it’s several days/weeks/months/years later that you manage to find it!

But what about when life is not fun? What about when you look around you, and everyone else seems to be coping with the ups and downs of the everyday, but you find yourself feeling alone and struggling to manage?

Little doodle of a rainbow, with "Love all the colours" written underneath

The Battle of Blue vs Pink

Why is there so little choice on the high street, when shopping for kids’ clothes? There are unlimited amazing colours in the spectrum, so why are we limiting ourselves – and our children – to blues and pinks?

Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy

Now, as you will know if you have read my (frankly brilliant) poem Introducing Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy, I believe that all mums lie somewhere on a spectrum. At one end you have the True Alpha Mummy – practically perfect in every way, and nice to boot. At the other end of the scale you have the True Beta Mummy, who is… err… the opposite. In fact, the True Beta Mummy is probably dangerously close to requiring an intervention from Social Services to be honest, but this is a light-hearted blog so let’s just say she’s a bit shit but means well.

Beta Mummy and the Other Bloggers

I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because let’s be honest, if you’re a blogger yourself, you’ve probably read plenty of these write-ups already. And if you’re not a blogger, you probably don’t give a damn that I met a load of other bloggers last weekend. Did you even know that blogging conferences were a thing? I know I didn’t, before I, Beta Mummy, became immersed in this strange, slightly egocentric, very friendly, and exceedingly nutty world.

Humour and Heartbreak

This post was originally written for the fantastic Creative Mothers series featured on Lucy’s fantastic Occupation: (M)other blog. I have included the post in its entirety below. I was so shy about this post being published, but having had so many positive comments about it on Lucy’s blog , I’m really glad that I did.

After meeting lots of my fellow bloggers a bit better at Britmums Live, I thought this week would be a good opportunity to publish this getting-to-know-me post on my own page. It’s not my usual silliness, but I hope you enjoy finding out a little bit more about the story behind Beta Mummy. Normal service will resume next week!

Beta Mummy is let loose on BML16!

Right. This is where I say “hi” to fellow Britmums Live-goers, so we all get to know each other a little bit beforehand, with the aim of minimising the terror of walking into a room full of 500 people I don’t know, to talk about a subject that I know pretty much nothing about….ho hum. Screw these questions, I’m relying on dutch courage and the lure of free cake to get me there!

Beta Mummy: Boozy, ballsy, and basically brilliant.

Flattery will get you everywhere, Brilliantly Ordinary! And no, I can confirm that I most definitely do not iron my bedsheets…

The Mummy Hangover.

Oh god. Ohhhhhhhhhh god. This is bad. This is really, reaalllly bad.

Beta Mummy likes a drink, there’s no denying it. A ~~little~~ large glass of wine at the end of the day (or even in the middle of the day, to be fair) is usually a must – let’s face it, it’s well-deserved after a day toddler-wrangling. However, even Beta Mum knows that it’s not a good idea to over-indulge in “Mummy’s special juice”, because these days it doesn’t take much to incite the mother-of-all-hangovers. And these days a hangover doesn’t mean lying in bed until midday, followed by a huge greasy fry-up, Saturday Kitchen and a possible hair of the dog pint later on. Oh no no no.

The Adventures of Beta Mummy

Doodlings and ramblings on what a f*cking disaster parenthood can be…

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