This post is a little outside my comfort zone. Doodles are my thing – they’re my creative comfort, my tool for sharing my thoughts and humour. Poems – not so much (although I’ve published one before). But the line about the skinny white jeans came into my head one day and wouldn’t go away until I wrote this. I saw this mum walking down the street with two children, wearing skin tight brilliant white jeans, with a white top, amazing blonde hair, massive sunglasses, and the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen. Seriously – how does anyone with young kids get away with wearing white trousers?! Answers on the back of a postcard, please.
So anyway, here’s my poem, inspired by skinny jeans lady.
Skinny White Jeans
A Poem by Beta Mummy
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, tanned, in skinny white jeans.
My jeans are tight, the knees are baggy, and white ones would never stay clean.
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, glowing, with make-up pristine.
My skin is practically see-through, and my eyebrows a sight to be seen.
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, smiling in my new 4 x 4.
My car is old and decrepit, it smells and there’s a dent in the door.
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, stylish in an effortless way.
My clothes are stuck in the 90’s, but they’ll be cool again one day…
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, house out of Home & Garden.
I live amongst chaos and squalour (I’m sorry I can’t let you in).
I will never be an Alpha Mummy, crafting and baking with the kids.
It always goes wrong and ends up looking nothing like the picture did.
I will always be a Beta Mummy: trying my best, but I often fail.
I’m barely swimming, almost drowning – but Beta Mums always prevail.
You see, we all are Beta Mums, imperfect but that’s okay.
We live, we love, and we survive – with a gin at the end of the day!
Ha ha love it! I’m also oh awe with these white wearing alpha mummies 😀 I wish I could wear it too 😀
I reckon I could wear all white for approx 3 mins before it got ruined!