In just a few short weeks, my oldest son (FC#1) starts school. This marks the start of many new and exciting events, and many stressful and arduous, too. The worst thing is that this September to September merry-go-round ain’t gonna stop now until, god, around 2031. “Back to School” this year, for us, is simply “To School”. For the first time, I am joining parents up and down the country in such joyful activities as stationery-buying (fun!), uniform-trying-on (much less fun), and…dun dun dunnnn…the buying of school shoes.
I recently gave myself a motivational pep talk, pulled myself together and marched FC#1 and FC#2 to the shoe shop. It was a well-overdue visit, having put it off for months. But with FC#1’s toes poking out of his trainers, and FC#2’s feet refusing to squeeze into his one remaining pair of sandals any longer, we had to brave it.
It was a fucking nightmare.
Alpha Mummy, of course, would have booked an appointment so that she wouldn’t be faced with a 45-minute wait before even being seen. She would have made sure that her little angels were well-rested and well-fed so that there was no possible reason for any unruly behaviour. And she probably wouldn’t have nearly choked to death when she realised that there wasn’t a pair of shoes in the shop below £32.
Reference the Beta Mummy picture below. That was me, sitting is disbelief as my “darlings” ransacked the shop, screamed blue murder at not being allowed the bright orange football boots (who cares that they didn’t do his size, and he doesn’t play football?), and FC#2 did his best to escape the shop to reach the Bob the Builder ride-on outside Sainsbury’s next door.
You want to know the worst bit about our trip? We didn’t even buy any bloody shoes. FC#1 insisted that all twelve pairs that he tried on were uncomfortable. And FC#2 has such fat little feet that there wasn’t a single pair that would fit him. Looks like the poor hippo-footed little bugger will have to wear wellies his whole life.
So it seems as though we’re off to buy school shoes (again) next week…wish us luck – and please send wine!
Oh I LOVE the illustrations! I have had years of this crap now…luckily my eldest is now 14 so I just buy him any old size 9’s. Toddler is 2 and screams down bloody clarks. They hate us in there because I only take her in to get measured and then get cheaper shoes elsewhere! Good luck with finding some!
#chucklemums
From reading my favourite blogs I am beginning to gather that buying children’s shoes is the stuff of nightmares. Funny, because I remember the five of us (What was she thinking?!) loving it when my mother took us to run amok in the shoe shop. She had us in leather Startrite all through my childhood, even though I wanted glittery cheap ones and I have terrible feet and had to have bunion surgery a few years ago. So maybe good shoes aren’t all they’re cracked up to be… #Chucklemums
Pahahahaha chuckling into my precious, precious coffee this morning 😂 #chucklemums
Oh Beta Mummy once again you nail it. How can they possibly charge that for a pair of tiny shoes? I don’t even pay £30 for mine. They do the whole if you don’t get our special shoes (for sake of argument let’s call the shop Sharkes) then your children will get deformed feet. I tell you what’s deformed my bank balance! Loving the new vibrant colours by the way.
#chucklemums
Ooh thanks for noticing – I have been working on improving how the colours show up on screen 🙂 x
Oh, this gives me flashbacks. Buy online and send the rest back was the advice I believe 😉 #chucklemums
£40 ours were and how much of that is to justify a toy in the sole, a torch and an app to download?! I just want a pair of sodding school shoes! #chucklemums
Oh how do you do it? I have just had this experience with NC for his first pair… after the shop assistants getting approx. 496 pairs out of the storeroom and none of them fitting, I decided I would spurn the idea of forking out £38 and went to the Cancer Research charity shop. £1.95 and a pair of 80’s style fake adidas slippery things, he is ONE HAPPY BUGGER. Love this post. Amazing. #chucklemums
Totally puts you off ever going!!! I can’t believe you didn’t even get shoes!! Uggggghhhh. Alpha Mummy is such a suck. #chucklemums
Oh nooo, nightmare! I actually got all ours done amazing, but then I did feed and bribe him first…uh oh…I don’t wanna be an alphamummy! #chucklemums
Shoe shopping with little people is the WORST. Not only does the Popple run around and pull all the shoes off the shelves, but we can never find any shoes small enough to fit her tiny feet. She’s still in crawling shoes after walking for almost 6 months. #chucklemums
Hilarious! Luckily I haven’t had the pleasure of buying school shoes for Piglet yet, but I await the day with bated breath! #tribe
The illustrations are ridiculously funny. That’s serious telent right there. #chucklemums
Currently going through the exact same thing! Why the actual frig do Clarks shoes cost so much when my kids will have grown out of them in four days?! My sons school has an indoor/outdoor shoe policy and so the thrifty (and stubborn) woman in me just bought him some from Asda because I figured he’ll be mostly indoors anyway! #chucklemums
Hilarious! My girl is starting in Sept too. But I have cunningly outsourced the school shoe buying to my teacher (on holiday) husband. Who, no matter what happens will tell me it was a breeze. So everyone wins. Love the sketches, eternally jealous of your ability to draw! #chucklemums
Hysterical, another blinder. Now, when I have to visit ‘Sharkes’ (thanks Colleyswobbles) I give them my budget range because so often they come out with “I’ve only got these ones in his size” – the ones I’d need to remortgage for – I’m on to them! Very funny post #chucklemums
Hahaha shoe shopping is basically the worst day of the summer holidays! Also the shop assistant looks like my fiance!
#chuklemums
I absolutely adore your doodles #chucklemums
This rings so true! Just wait until they come home on day 3 (if you’re lucky) with them scuffed to the threads holding them together after using them as a scooter/trike brake (my 5yr old) or for performing sliding tackles (my 8yr old!).
#chucklemums
We made the mistake of going shoe shopping on a Saturday. It was like hell on earth, especially after the Child found a disgusting glitter-rhinestoned pair that she wouldn’t put down. Thankfully the shop assistant averted a full on tantrum by offering up some silver sparkly laces. She earned her, probably minimum, wages that day! #chucklemums
We’re braving the school shoe shop tomorrow! I suspect it will be more beta mummy than alpha mummy. Hope you manage to find a pair of school shoes soon! And that’s a scary thought that we’ll have kids at school until 2031! #triballove
Shoe shopping with kids! You are one brave Mama! haha! Another hilarious post! #chucklemums
We tried to avoid the nightmare that is school shopping last year by doing it online. Turns out the bloody sizes were out and cost too much to return and exchange.
To make it less painful, we broke it into three trips!
Ah poor little hippo foot in wellies 😂😂😂😂
#chucklemums
Oh bless you! Hope trip 2 is more successful! I’m a few years off the school trip and can see me enjoying the stationary shop more too! EatSleepBlogRT
Haha – yes, it is a bit of an ordeal! & we have not even reached school shoe stage yet. It was much easier when I just had one child, but now at least one of them is somewhere touching things at any given time! In fairness, mine have not yet rejected the shoes they have tried on so we at least always get to buy some, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time! #chucklemums
Ha ha this made me laugh out loud. I am somewhere in between Alpha and Beta as luckily my girls LOVE shoe shopping but they also love the hideous sparkly flashing shoes. But I went last week and was told there was a 45 min wait and left. I have now booked an appointment for tomorrow, wish me luck!! #EatSleepBlogRT
My kids LOVE shoe shopping, my wallet not so much. Good luck on your next trip.
love this! i totally feel your pain, our recent shoe shop was fairly similar apart from its just everyday shoes for a the little minx, I am even thinking of buying my own for measure (amazon) so we never have to go in again!!!! thanks for sharing and fingers crossed you find some 🙂 #EatSleepBlogRT
Oh dear lol! I hit the shops as soon as they open so i have minimal waiting time where ever i go. Good luck shoe shopping! Thanks for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRt
Ha ha sounds like a nightmare – but very familiar! Pudding couldn’t have any shoes because she has microscopic feet – loots like she will be barefoot until she is four!! #EatSleepBlogRT
Your parenting disasters always make me laugh…sorry! I love the man ‘questioning his life choices’ . I hope you find some shoes on your next trip, this will be me next year xx #KCACOLS
I gave up on this whole shoe buying nightmare years ago. The girl is now the same size as me and is treated accordingly. With a pair off the rack in Asda (whole uniform shopping done in one go on a Saturday night last weekend in 20 mins). I have learnt that if she likes them and is comfy in them then to just buy them, or rather get her dad to he buys the shoes hope you managed to find some #kcacols
[…] reading all of you great posts, I had to pick my favourite. I chose Beta mummy’s post “School shoe shopping“. I think most of us can relate to this really funny post! Here is your featured […]
Oooh I’m back for #KCACOLS! Hope you come back again next Sunday 🙂
The beta mum picture depicts every one of us (including Dads who go school shoe shopping). It’s worse than any nightmare I could have had and I have a theory that the stores do it on purpose to release their school shoes close to the start of scholastic year just so that the sadists can watch us and laugh at our frenzy #KCACOLS
What a nightmare! We will be joining the ‘too school’ next year and I’m not looking forward the shoe part. Currently both my daughters have small but wide feet, nearly nothing fits properly, or the shop never has their size. The eldest is fuzzy, as she is old enough to have an opinion. When the young shop assistant says ‘Which ones would she like to try on?’ We have to tell him/her to inform us which shoes they actually have in her size first so as to avoid any potential tantrums from them not having her ‘couldn’t possibly live another day without, dream shoes’. It’s exhausting! #KCACOLS
haha another fab doodle 🙂 love these so much. and the pile up of shoes is so bloody true too! #KCACOLS
My daughter is 11 and threw a strop in the shoe shop as they didn’t have slip on shoes in her size, apparently that was my fault. She’s lucky she didn’t go to school with bin liners on her feet lol.
#KCACOLS
You have made me giggle! My oldest is 10 (also have a 7 & 5 year old) and I made my first appointment at the shoe shop this year- I’m a slow learner! I was (for the first time ever) the alpha mummy! Whoop! #KCACOLS