Beta Mummy’s Road trip.

Holidays are coming, and for many of us, that means a bit of a road trip at some point.  You and the kids, packed up in the car, tunes on the radio, off to see Granny and Grandad up North, or down to Devon for the week.  Sounds like fun, right?  WRONG.  Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.  Unless you’re an Alpha Mummy, in which case piss off.

“Road trippin’ with my two favorite allies,
Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies…”

Too right we’ve got snacks and supplies. We’ve got half a bloody supermarket’s worth, most of which is gone within 3 miles and the remains of which are now littering the back seats and floor. My two favourite allies are rapidly becoming my least favourite enemies as they screech and whine about somebody hitting somebody and somebody doing something that somebody thought made them “a stinky poo poo head”.

Talking of stinky poo poo, the first toilet request comes in just a few moments after the first “are we nearly there yet?” (which is at around the 4 minute mark. After shouting at them for failing to go to the toilet before we left the house, I realise that in the kerfuffle to get out the door, I did in fact fail to go to the loo myself…

It’s a miracle that I didn’t crash the car by falling into a coma induced by having to listen to the same goddamn CD over and over again, complete with skips and judders due to the many scratches and smears caused by tiny hands messing about with the CD collection at any given opportunity.  So don’t be too impressed by me quoting the Red Hot Chilli Peppers just now – it’s been over 5 years since I got to listen to actual music sang by actual musicians rather than dubious rhymes sang by failed stage school dropouts.

Still, we get there in the end, one way or another (usually another, as my sat nav is dumb as a post and my children are terrible map-readers).  Can’t wait for the return journey! 

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  • Vickie Ceccato 25/03/2016 at 2:08 am

    Ugh, and there’s nowhere to hide. *cringe* 🙂 #bestandworst

    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 25/03/2016 at 7:43 pm

      It was quite amusing, really. Our road trip to Devon this morning: 5 mins in, the sat nav broke, and about 7 mins in came the first “Are we nearly there?”

  • An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) 25/03/2016 at 8:59 pm

    I love this thank you massively for linking this with #familyfun a brilliantly true representation of car travel with kids. Although now mine are older we use the computer babysitters! ?

  • twotinyhands 26/03/2016 at 1:57 pm

    Packing is awful! I’ve only an 8 month one and when we go on a one night trip I pack for six weeks! It’s a nightmare! Hopefully it will get easier! Hmmm #familyfun

  • Suzanne J S (@chickenruby) 29/03/2016 at 7:30 pm

    no, no, no, this is only what Alpha Mummy tells you happens, the reality is they are the same as the rest of us

  • Stephanie Robinson 31/03/2016 at 5:53 pm

    Are we nearly there yet??!! And you know what, there’s only one thing worse than a road trip – and that’s coming back! Hope it’s gone more smoothly than you expected and thanks for linking up to #PoCoLo – hope to see you again tomorrow (unless you are still on said road trip!)

  • Something Crunchy Mummy 01/04/2016 at 8:50 pm

    Road trips are just argh as I always forget something! Or the kids are sick! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

  • 02/04/2016 at 10:33 am

    lol! OMG! I think you have just described our trip today! lo! Love your graphic. So funny! Thank you so much for linking up your lovely post with us. #FabFridayPost

  • min1980 06/04/2016 at 8:05 am

    I can imagine! Personally, I don’t drive, so Piglet and I go everywhere by train. He is not yet quite old enough to appreciate the brilliance of trains, compare them to Thomas the Tank Engine or get excited about them, which means that long journeys are usually an exercise in trying to avoid a toddler meltdown when he can’t go walking up and down the carriage. Usually by walking up and down the carriage for two hours. #BloggerClubUK

  • turningupindevon 08/04/2016 at 5:12 pm

    Love your illustrations – they say it all v aptly indeed!I hope getting to glorious Devon was worth it in the end 🙂

  • mumworkrepeat 10/04/2016 at 6:22 am

    Brilliant and hits the spot as always! Don’t forget the constant question of “are we nearly there yet?” which starts generally at the bottom of our road and lasts for the entire 2-3 hour drive *reaches for ejector seat button

    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 10/04/2016 at 6:41 am

      Yes! On our recent trip down to Devon, the first “are we there yet?” was approx 2 mins in. Just before the sat nav packed up

  • mudpiefridays 11/04/2016 at 9:43 pm

    Ha ha that is so us! I have to use my car for work which is the only thing that saves it post a road trip or holiday. My boot has been full for the last 4 years, it still has a buggy in the boot which Monkey hasn’t gone near for over 2 years! Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week x

  • islandliving365 18/04/2016 at 8:36 am

    hahahahahaha. This is us!!! We fly back to England this summer and we will be driving up from Suffolk to Yorkshire. I am dreading it already because it will be just like this. Especially we on Jersey they are never in the car for longer than 10 minutes. I will be stocking up on those snacks!! 🙂 #bigpinklink

  • justsayingmum 18/04/2016 at 11:27 am

    Oh I literally spat my coffee out – inspired! #BigPinkLink

  • pinkpearbear 18/04/2016 at 9:32 pm

    Oh this is spot on!! We had one just this weekend. It was very Beta Mummy. We arrived home, stressed to the max and with the van littered with macdonalds packaging from our panic bought ‘stop them crying’ tea! Thanks for drawing my life! #bigpinklink

  • Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) 20/04/2016 at 8:49 pm

    ahahahaah you absolute legend

  • mumzilla 11/05/2016 at 6:55 pm

    Hahaha, this is brilliant. There is SO MUCH sh1t on our car!! Thanks for linking up with #puddinglove

  • Louise 11/05/2016 at 7:23 pm

    Oh yes, am definitely a Beta Mummy on this one! Endless renditions of the CBeebies CDs, whinging from the back because they’ve dropped a toy – and no I can’t pick it up for them whilst driving! Oh the joys! #puddinglove

  • Baby Anon 11/05/2016 at 8:00 pm

    Ha ha. Very true. Mother plays me classical music as she hopes it will lull me into a more relaxed state of mind and then I will fall fitfully to sleep…I don’t 😉 #puddinglove

  • Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) 16/05/2016 at 6:26 am

    okay so I am never taking bubba away! Another awesome post hun
    #puddinglove #triballove

  • Petite Pudding 16/05/2016 at 10:57 pm

    Eurgh I hate road trips with the kids (and the dogs) I am definitely in the beta mummy corner for this one! I do manage to have the radio on, but usually turned up loud to drown out the screams from the back… Thanks for linking up #PuddingLove


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