Letter to Santa…Please Bring Guns. And a Crossbow.

My Feral Children have been writing their letters to Santa (or Father Christmas, as I prefer to call the old fella, seeing as we’re in England).  It was an interesting (concerning) insight into the workings of my children’s minds…

We sat down together to write the letters, various toy catalogues to hand for reference.  The 5 year old had a pretty decent stab at writing his letter himself, whilst the 3-year old drew the things he wants.  Here’s what FC#1 wrote:

“To Father Crismass.  I hope you have a lovly Crismass. Love W xxxxxxx

Pleas bring me

  1. a Nerf gun BIG nerf gun

  2. a nerf cross boe.

  3. a real cross boe.  And arrows.

  4. an army tank with real buletts.

  5. a scarf.

  6. jel pens.”

Well.  Call me Alpha Mummy, but I really don’t like guns, or toy guns, or fighting-type toys.  I mean, my kids fight non-bloody-stop as it is – every stick and lego model becomes a gun!  They need no further encouragement on that front.  He can have the scarf and the gel pens.

FC#2’s letter is rather more difficult to interpret, given that it is in doodle form.  He’s not bad at drawing for his age (takes after his mum, clearly), but he is 3 at the end of the day, so there are limits.  I WISH I had taken a photo before we posted the letter.

Basically, as far as I can tell, for Christmas my beautiful blonde-ringletted baby boy would like LOTS of cars, a real gun with real bullets, and a bow and arrow.  (He illustrated this by drawing a “Santa that’s dead and he’s been shot with this bow and arrow” – not sure how or why he felt that that would encourage the big man to give him anything).  He has also asked for a “lovely unicorn cuddly” as well, which goes some way towards allaying my fears that he might be a complete psychopath.

Of course, I’ve obliged on that last one.  He will be receiving the most ghastly bug-eyed purple fluffy unicorn cuddly toy…and he will LOVE it.

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