My Feral Children and I are very lucky to live on the beautiful South coast of England, within a couple of miles of the most gorgeous sandy beach.
I try to take them to the beach as often as I can, all year round. This is not because I am a wonderful back-to-nature type parent. It’s more because the kids love it there so will happily get in the car (outbound trip only), they can run around like complete loons without trashing my house/garden, and a morning of digging sometimes wears them out enough for me to hit the parenting jackpot of a Dual-Child Nap.
But every morning before a beach trip, I ask myself the question, “Will today be an Alpha Mummy visit, or a Beta Mummy visit?”
Needless to say, our trips are usually far more Beta than Alpha, but if I’m lucky we get a few Alpha moments along the way for the old Instagram feed…
You need to embed your insta photo of your car of sand. That is THE worst thing about the beach. Ugh ugh ugh!
Great as always and I’m gonna stick a #chucklemums in here too for good measure x
Loved this, my child likes to hNd off dangerous jagged rocks like a money. She lives the look of terror etched on my face ? Will be taking my corn beef legs to the beech next month myself ? #chucklemums
Haha, bloody beaches. As a kid we never had any trips to the seaside because my dad hates them. He hates sand – weirdo. However, sometimes when we are not sat on the beach I wander if he is actually a very wise man. Especially when I have had to stop Youngest eating the discarded cigarette end! #Chucklemums
What is the secret to getting children to keep their hats on? I think some parents might secretly Velcro them on…. #Chucklemums
Aaaargh the beach… Such a lovely idea in theory! Just always ends in weeping and tantrums (often mine) #chucklemums
Love your illustrations! Perfectly sums up the beach-with-kids experience! Either way, I’m sure the kids will look back at each visit fondly…all my favourite childhood memories were on the beach with my family (like when my big sister found a feather for the top of our sand castle, but when she extracted said feather from the sand, she pulled up a massive dead sea gull along with it – gross for her, but hilarious for us!) #chucklemums
Omg that’s an amazing story! 🙂
Oh, beaches, beaches (isn’t that a Bette Midler film?) This sums it up perfectly. NC insists on eating ALL the sand at the moment and don’t get me started on the bastard hats. We’ve been through about seven this ‘summer’ already… #chucklemums
I always get crapped on. I once saw a seagull sitting on a mans head, eating his chips. The man just sat there as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Weirdo. #chucklemums
Yep. Our beach trips are definitely beta-mummy ones! How does the sand getting into every single crevice! And changing a poopy nappy when the arse is coated in sand is pretty much impossible. I can never actually sit down on the beach either as my young one always wants to throw himself in the sea and see where it takes him.
sand in every crevice – the main reason I hate the beach! As long as there are enough alpha moments to outweigh the beta! #chucklemums
I always avoided beaches with young kids, so Alpha or Beta mummy – I take my hat off to you for doing it. Alison x #chucklemums
LOVE the beach.. I’m sure it was an awesome day! As in your first picture!! Sun, bikini, snacks etc!!! Absolute PERFECTION.. Always 🙂 #chucklemums
Haha I envisage any visit to the beach I partake in will be a beta mummy visit. I love your pictures! x
#chucklemums
hehe, im pleased to say our beach visits have been more alpha mum haha. although heavy bags of crap all ring a bell for sure!! #chucklemums
I think I hate the beach, always Beta mummy moments! Unless it involves burying toddler waist height in the sand – which he seems to love! #chucklemums
Oh and the sand gets ALL OVER the car on the way home, and every single surface they touch. You are lucky though just to be able to nip down t’beach 🙂 #Chucklemums xx
I feel you! I’m so beta when it comes to the beach. Sand everywhere, seagulls shitting and no toilets make it a bull ache! love this! I wanna be alpha mummy just for the day! #chucklemums
My monkeys love the beach but hate sand on their feet. Sobbing, howling…”my feet have sand on them. Get it off, get it off”. I am so a beta beach mummy. #chucklemums
Oh I’m crying! Legs that will never tan – that’s me! The bag that weighs a ton but nothing you need in it! Just such a brilliant post again and again and again! #fortheloveofBLOG
We are blessed to live on the south coast too. Ahh flippin sand, we always seem to end up with the whole beach in the kids shoes, which inevitably ends up all over the place after shoes are thrown off. #fortheloveofBLOG xx
Great post as always. Why is it one kid runs one way while the other runs the other way when at the beach. Or one suddenly decided to run in the sea don’t like it and you have to go and get them lol.
#fortheloveofBLOG
Yes I’m with you. Beaches always seem like a good idea but there are a lot of hazards and endless possible problems to deal with when it’s one of the bad days! #KCACOLS x
I hate sand…I love beaches..to look at…but sand up your arse makes me unhappy. My son loves them but as soon as he hits the sand he will run like a mad thing to the water with me chasing behind him with suntan lotion cursing. So yep I am totally beta mummy at the beach!xx #chucklemums
I do love the beach but not with kids. With kids it’s just an absolute bliddy nightmare- sand everywhere!! Eurgh. #KCACOLS
We also live near the beach and it never goes as smoothly as you think it will does it?! Last time we went my 5 yo dropped her ice lolly in the sand as soon as she opened it which caused tears and a trek back to to the shop. We’d only been there 5 mins I think! #KCACOLS
How much stuff do we need to sit and do not a lot haha x #eatsleepblogRT
Hilarious as always! Our boys love the beach too…. ‘Discarded bastard hats’ – YEP! #EatSleepBlogRT
Love your illustrations so much! Absolutely hilarious because it’s all true (the beta one!). #KCACOLS
We go to the beach quite often because we live so close to it, but I think I fall somewhere between your two examples here! x #KCACOLS
The bag thing – my bag is HUGE, but does it ever have what I need in it? I’ve always forgotten something crucial! #KCACOLS
Haha! Your pictures are amazing! #kcacols
love this! if you live down here in Cornwall the seagulls are just pure evil! They even knocked a poor girl off the pier the other week! xx
hanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
The beach and i do not mix and i’m scared of water so i avoid the sea like the plaque! If we go i get bored easy as my kids love the water so i’m left either freezing cold of boiling hot with the bags depending on the weather! Thanks for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRt
I think everyone’s trips to the beach must be like this surely! Sand is evil. #kcacols
Ha ha ha hilarious – man I hate seagulls. Those theiving buggers always swoop down and steal my ice cream. And why oh why won’t my legs tan?? #EatSleepBlogRT
This really made me chuckle!! I am firmly in the beta mum, although strive for alpha. Maybe one day!!!!! #kcacols
Haha, I had no idea until recently just how the sand invades every single crevice. And keeping the children from running off and trying to swim the English Channel or some bit is truly a challenge. #KCACOLS
[…] so bare with me! My favourite this week was from Beta Mummy with her linked post about the beach. I think this sums up every trip to the beach I have ever had! Grab yourself a featured badge […]