Tag Archives : pregnancy

Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy


Now, as you will know if you have read my (frankly brilliant) poem Introducing Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy, I believe that all mums lie somewhere on a spectrum. At one end you have the True Alpha Mummy – practically perfect in every way, and nice to boot. At the other end of the scale you have the True Beta Mummy, who is… err… the opposite.  In fact, the True Beta Mummy is probably dangerously close to requiring an intervention from Social Services to be honest, but this is a light-hearted blog so let’s just say she’s a bit shit but means well.

Little doodle showing the Mummy Spectrum - Alpha Mummy at one end and Beta Mummy at the other end.

Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy do… Pregnancy.


There are some people (Alpha Mummy I’m looking at you) who seem to have been born to be pregnant. They conceive at just the perfect time (September baby, ideal) at the first time of trying. They eat and drink everything they’re “supposed” to, and nothing they’re not. With a carefully chosen, fashionable maternity wardrobe they manage to look stylish and elegant as their compact bump blooms, whilst they add pregnancy yoga and hypnobirthing classes into their usual exercise programme (which they continue up until at least 38 weeks).