Tag Archives : feeling old

What Happened To My Face?!

I spend very little time looking in the mirror. In fact, some days I realise in my work lunch break that I haven’t actually checked at any point that I don’t have breakfast in my teeth, toothpaste on my nose, or snot in my hair. But the other morning I happened to take a good long look in the mirror.  MY GOD. MY FACE!  What happened to my face?!


The Mummy Hangover.

Oh god.  Ohhhhhhhhhh god.  This is bad.  This is really, reaalllly bad.

Beta Mummy likes a drink, there’s no denying it.  A little large glass of wine at the end of the day (or even in the middle of the day, to be fair) is usually a must – let’s face it, it’s well-deserved after a day toddler-wrangling.  However, even Beta Mum knows that it’s not a good idea to over-indulge in “Mummy’s special juice”, because these days it doesn’t take much to incite the mother-of-all-hangovers.  And these days a hangover doesn’t mean lying in bed until midday, followed by a huge greasy fry-up, Saturday Kitchen and a possible hair of the dog pint later on.  Oh no no no.

Beta Mummy’s Beauty Essentials.

I’ll say this now to save your efforts if you are looking for genuine beauty advice – you sure as hell won’t find it here.

If the only three people left on the planet were you, me, and Donald Trump, you’d most certainly be better off going to him for advice on which BB cream to use (I’m not actually sure what that even is) or how best to style your hair (I do “down”, or “ponytail”).  I’m not sure why you would care about your hair style if you were one of only three people left on the planet, particularly if one of the others was Donald Trump, but I digress…

Sex: Are you an Alpha Mum or a Beta Mum?

Sex.  Us Beta Mums don’t really have the energy these days, do we?  Given the chance of an early night, I’m thinking comfy PJs, fluffy socks, and a nice Twitter/Facebook scroll before rolling over and catching up on a little bit of that four-year sleep deficit.