Tag Archives : drinking

Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy


Now, as you will know if you have read my (frankly brilliant) poem Introducing Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy, I believe that all mums lie somewhere on a spectrum. At one end you have the True Alpha Mummy – practically perfect in every way, and nice to boot. At the other end of the scale you have the True Beta Mummy, who is… err… the opposite.  In fact, the True Beta Mummy is probably dangerously close to requiring an intervention from Social Services to be honest, but this is a light-hearted blog so let’s just say she’s a bit shit but means well.

Little doodle showing the Mummy Spectrum - Alpha Mummy at one end and Beta Mummy at the other end.

Beta Mummy and the Other Bloggers


I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because let’s be honest, if you’re a blogger yourself, you’ve probably read plenty of these write-ups already.  And if you’re not a blogger, you probably don’t give a damn that I met a load of other bloggers last weekend.  Did you even know that blogging conferences were a thing?  I know I didn’t, before I, Beta Mummy, became immersed in this strange, slightly egocentric, very friendly, and exceedingly nutty world.

Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy Camp It Up.


A couple of weekends ago, I took Feral Child #1 and Feral Child #2 camping. I kind of wonder if there’s actually much point in writing this post, because let’s face it, you can imagine how it’s going to go, can’t you?!

Beta Mummy is let loose on BML16!


Right. This is where I say “hi” to fellow Britmums Live-goers, so we all get to know each other a little bit beforehand, with the aim of minimising the terror of walking into a room full of 500 people I don’t know, to talk about a subject that I know pretty much nothing about….ho hum. Screw these questions, I’m relying on dutch courage and the lure of free cake to get me there!

Little doodle of Beta Mummy peering around the corner to wave Hi!

The Mummy Hangover.


Oh god.  Ohhhhhhhhhh god.  This is bad.  This is really, reaalllly bad.

Beta Mummy likes a drink, there’s no denying it.  A little large glass of wine at the end of the day (or even in the middle of the day, to be fair) is usually a must – let’s face it, it’s well-deserved after a day toddler-wrangling.  However, even Beta Mum knows that it’s not a good idea to over-indulge in “Mummy’s special juice”, because these days it doesn’t take much to incite the mother-of-all-hangovers.  And these days a hangover doesn’t mean lying in bed until midday, followed by a huge greasy fry-up, Saturday Kitchen and a possible hair of the dog pint later on.  Oh no no no.