Tag Archives : cake

Soft Play: a Beta Mummy Utopia


Yes it’s true, I love soft play.  In a sort of hate it kind of way.  I love it because I can basically abandon my children in soft play (yes I’m that parent) and let them get on with it whilst I sit back safe in the knowledge that they’re unlikely to come to any serious harm.  It is called soft play after all – what could possibly go wrong?

Alpha Mummy's kid's party. The kids are behaving nicely, Alpha Mummy is smiling with her clipboard making sure everything is on schedule. Everything is very coordinated and organised-looking.

The Birthday Party – with Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy


As I mentioned in a previous post, it was Feral Child #2’s fourth birthday party recently. I say recently – it has taken me several weeks to recover and gather myself sufficiently to produce this post.

As you will know if you have children of primary school or pre-school age, kids’ parties these days seem to be rather more competitive than they used to be. When I was a kid, a party consisted of running around in ever-decreasing diameter circles to a soundtrack of Kylie and Jason, followed by a game of musical statues or pin the tail on the donkey, finished off with eating far too much e-number laden jelly and ice cream. Then we’d be sent on our way with a bit of cake wrapped in a serviette, and a balloon if we were lucky. Happy days!

Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy


Now, as you will know if you have read my (frankly brilliant) poem Introducing Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy, I believe that all mums lie somewhere on a spectrum. At one end you have the True Alpha Mummy – practically perfect in every way, and nice to boot. At the other end of the scale you have the True Beta Mummy, who is… err… the opposite.  In fact, the True Beta Mummy is probably dangerously close to requiring an intervention from Social Services to be honest, but this is a light-hearted blog so let’s just say she’s a bit shit but means well.

Little doodle showing the Mummy Spectrum - Alpha Mummy at one end and Beta Mummy at the other end.

Beta Mummy and the Other Bloggers


I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because let’s be honest, if you’re a blogger yourself, you’ve probably read plenty of these write-ups already.  And if you’re not a blogger, you probably don’t give a damn that I met a load of other bloggers last weekend.  Did you even know that blogging conferences were a thing?  I know I didn’t, before I, Beta Mummy, became immersed in this strange, slightly egocentric, very friendly, and exceedingly nutty world.

Beta Mummy is let loose on BML16!


Right. This is where I say “hi” to fellow Britmums Live-goers, so we all get to know each other a little bit beforehand, with the aim of minimising the terror of walking into a room full of 500 people I don’t know, to talk about a subject that I know pretty much nothing about….ho hum. Screw these questions, I’m relying on dutch courage and the lure of free cake to get me there!

Little doodle of Beta Mummy peering around the corner to wave Hi!

Extremely serious cake review & giveaway!


One can’t afford to be flippant when discussing something so serious as cake.  Cake is a Very Important Commodity after all.  In the words of Daddy Pig, “I’m a bit of an expert” when it comes to cake. Eating it, that is. Mary Berry I ain’t, as you may have gathered from my Baking post.