Tag Archives : baby wipes

Beta Mummy Cooks…Lasagne


Beta Mummy COOKS logo

I’m no Alpha Mummy – I’m not a great cook, I don’t have a pristine, marble-topped kitchen, and I don’t have the time to lovingly prepare nutritionally-balanced food for my family at every single meal.  But I do try…so I decided that I would share some of the things I’ve learned along the way, by featuring some extremely special Beta Mummy recipes on my website.

I started off nice and easy last time with cheese on toast, but today I’ve bravely gone for something a little more complicated.  I would not recommend attempting this on a work night – save it for the weekend when you’ve got a bit more time on your hands.  Stick the kids in front of CBeebies and let’s get started with Beta Mummy’s Lasagne recipe:

Beta Mummy's chaotic bathroom: piss all over the floor, dirty/wet clothes everywhere. Feral Child number 1 is presenting his arse for wiping, whilst Feral Child number 2 is sitting on the potty making a right old mess.

Potty Training with Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy


Potty training (or toilet training) should be a process of great joy, should it not?  After all, once complete, it does herald the end of nappies – hooray!  But, for Beta Mummies in particular, the process itself can feel like A Big Deal.

Well, one day, you’ll decide that you can put it off no longer, that it really won’t be acceptable (although tempting) to let your children live outside in a run and/or use a litter tray, and potty training will commence.

Beta Mummy’s Beauty Essentials.


I’ll say this now to save your efforts if you are looking for genuine beauty advice – you sure as hell won’t find it here.

If the only three people left on the planet were you, me, and Donald Trump, you’d most certainly be better off going to him for advice on which BB cream to use (I’m not actually sure what that even is) or how best to style your hair (I do “down”, or “ponytail”).  I’m not sure why you would care about your hair style if you were one of only three people left on the planet, particularly if one of the others was Donald Trump, but I digress…