Browsing Category : Other Doodles

Doodle of Beta Mummy doing a zip wire off the end of Bournemouth Pier. The harness is highly unflattering and there are almost definitely sharks circling beneath her. But she is wearing some lovely Hotter shoes, so it's all good.

Staring Death in the Face with Hotter


Before I had my kids, I was always up for adventure.  Adrenaline junkie is probably too strong a term – I never had the urge to try bungee jumping or base jumping, or any other kind of jumping in fact – but I definitely enjoyed the buzz I would get from pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone.  I love skiing, and pre-kids would have happily thrown myself down a black run despite not being a particularly competent skier.  “What’s the worst that could happen?” I’d merrily declare.  But since having my children, something unexpected has happened to me.

Beta Mummies – We’ve Made It to Half Term!


We are approaching the first half term holiday of the school year.  How quickly did that go?!  It seems like only yesterday that I was writing about Feral Child #1’s first day at school, and now we’re already at half term.  I ponder  the gradual decline of my son’s appearance and general demeanor as fatigue sets in, on his part and mine.  I think we are all – teachers included, I’m sure – ready for a week off from the school routine to re-set and re-group before the madness of the Christmas season.

Doodle of Beta Mummy holding hands with Feral Child Number 1. They are looking up at the sign for "Big School". FC1 is totally ready. Beta Mummy is not. Beta Mummy has something in her eye...

Big School…But He’s So Small!


FC#1 started school today.

 

I may be a Beta Mummy, but I’m not a heartless bitch.  Even though I complain about my children all the time, and even though I spend most of my time with them wishing that they’d go to bed already so that I can get on with the serious business of wine-drinking, I do actually love them – honest!

 

On paper, today isn’t a big deal.  I work pretty much full time, so both of the Ferals have been in one form of child care or another since they were a year old.  FC#1 going to school means spending only marginally less time with him than I’m used to.  He was at the school’s nursery all of last year, so he knows the setting, he’s familiar with the uniform, he knows the staff and many of the other kids – he was excited and raring to go.

 

But it is a big deal.

A little doodle of Beta Daddy looking harassed with children around his feet.

Calling All Beta Daddies!


My blog usually focuses on Beta Mummy and her practically perfect counterpart, Alpha Mummy, but someone recently asked me if there was a Beta Daddy… Well, as regular readers will know, there’s no longer a daddy (Alpha, Beta or otherwise) living in my house, but I thought it was only fair to deflect some attention away from my own parental…

The Mummy Hangover.


Oh god.  Ohhhhhhhhhh god.  This is bad.  This is really, reaalllly bad.

Beta Mummy likes a drink, there’s no denying it.  A little large glass of wine at the end of the day (or even in the middle of the day, to be fair) is usually a must – let’s face it, it’s well-deserved after a day toddler-wrangling.  However, even Beta Mum knows that it’s not a good idea to over-indulge in “Mummy’s special juice”, because these days it doesn’t take much to incite the mother-of-all-hangovers.  And these days a hangover doesn’t mean lying in bed until midday, followed by a huge greasy fry-up, Saturday Kitchen and a possible hair of the dog pint later on.  Oh no no no.

The Mums’ Night Out.


It goes pretty much without saying that, once you’re a mum, your social life changes somewhat.  Spontaneous nights out become a thing of the past, now you have babies/children to feed, put to bed, organise a babysitter for.  Drinking heavily into the wee small hours is no longer a great idea, not now that the wee small hours is precisely when you’re likely to be woken up by a demand for Cheerios and Peppa.  Besides, a hangover hardly bears thinking about when you have noisy little dictators to manage in the morning, AND will sacrificing several hours of (potential) sleep be worth it, given your cumulative sleep deficit?

Beta Mummy’s Trampoline Shame


I originally wrote this post especially to feature on the excellent “Rookie Mistakes” feature on Claire’s blog “Life, Love and Dirty Dishes”. See my post on her blog here

Rookie Mistakes

The story that follows is in fact the third of three ideas I had for this post. I ran all the ideas past a friend who informed me that I’d probably get Social Services knocking on my door if I published either of the first two.  So I’m afraid that, for now at least, you’re stuck with my rookie mistake number three.

Beta Mummy’s Beauty Essentials.


I’ll say this now to save your efforts if you are looking for genuine beauty advice – you sure as hell won’t find it here.

If the only three people left on the planet were you, me, and Donald Trump, you’d most certainly be better off going to him for advice on which BB cream to use (I’m not actually sure what that even is) or how best to style your hair (I do “down”, or “ponytail”).  I’m not sure why you would care about your hair style if you were one of only three people left on the planet, particularly if one of the others was Donald Trump, but I digress…

Tea – a Tribute


I love tea.  I just love it.  The taste of it, the warming effect it has, the ritual of making it. (The cake I eat with it…)

Except wait.  No longer can I enjoy a simple cup of tea, one of life’s little pleasures.