Browsing Category : Beta Mummy Ramblings

A doodle of Beta Mummy having a smear test

Even Beta Mummy Remembers Her Smear Test…


Ugh, I know.  It’s not my favourite part of being a woman, either.  But of all the things to prioritise, of all the times that it’s important to practise a bit of self-care, getting your smear tests (cervical screening) done regularly has got to be near the top of the list.

 

I Can’t Have It All…


Women can have it all these days, so they say.  We can be mothers and sex goddesses and ambitious career women, and can generally achieve great things.  We can.

One could.

But right now I’m failing at all of the above.

the weight of responsibility

I’m a Beta Mummy, breastfeeding


You know what, I have been putting off doing a doodle about breastfeeding for so long, and despite many requests.  Why, I hear you cry?  Because,dear reader, along with the whole fandango/sunroof birth thing (also not doodled as yet), it’s just so bloody contentious.  Whatever you say, and whatever angle you take, the nutcases crawl out of the woodwork and think it’s ok to start hurling accusations, guilt-trips and insults around.  So I’ll say it from the off – I won’t stand for it, it is just not cool.

A doodle of 5 friends holding hands, sillouetted against a setting sun.

Why Every Woman Needs a Wolf Pack


My wolf pack is like a second family.  My wolf pack is a group of women who are like sisters to me, and who I can rely upon for virtually anything.  Despite knowing each other for only a few years – we met through baby groups – we love and would do anything for each other as though we have been friends forever.  I think every woman needs a wolf pack.  I could not survive without mine, and here’s why:

Doodle of Alpha Mummy joyfully skipping through the autumn leaves

Why I f*cking hate the Autumn!


Autumn (or Fall, for my trans-Atlantic readers).  I hate it.  My Instagram feed is full of  people looking happy in cable-knit sweaters and kicking through leaves with their cherubic ruddy-cheeked children.  Slow-cooker suppers and cinnamon lattes and plans for Halloween and Bonfire Night parties and cosy nights in.  But I make no excuses for being a miserable old bat when it comes to this time of year.

Doodle of Alpha Mummy and Beta Mummy having a hug

Even Alpha Mummies struggle…


I have created a whole world of doodles laughing about the fact that I (er…I mean Beta Mummy…not based on reality at all…ahem) can’t really cope with my kids, that my life has been turned entirely on its head by family life, and that basically I am one big mess.  I write and doodle to make people laugh – and people do!  They identify with me, they laugh at (with?!) me – and let’s face it, a huge proportion of the issues that affect parents every day are funny.  Or at least have a funny side, even if it’s several days/weeks/months/years later that you manage to find it!

But what about when life is not fun?  What about when you look around you, and everyone else seems to be coping with the ups and downs of the everyday, but you find yourself feeling alone and struggling to manage?

Little doodle of a rainbow, with "Love all the colours" written underneath

The Battle of Blue vs Pink


Why is there so little choice on the high street, when shopping for kids’ clothes?  There are unlimited amazing colours in the spectrum, so why are we limiting ourselves – and our children – to blues and pinks?

Little doodle of a rainbow, with "Love all the colours" written underneath

Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy


Now, as you will know if you have read my (frankly brilliant) poem Introducing Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy, I believe that all mums lie somewhere on a spectrum. At one end you have the True Alpha Mummy – practically perfect in every way, and nice to boot. At the other end of the scale you have the True Beta Mummy, who is… err… the opposite.  In fact, the True Beta Mummy is probably dangerously close to requiring an intervention from Social Services to be honest, but this is a light-hearted blog so let’s just say she’s a bit shit but means well.

Little doodle showing the Mummy Spectrum - Alpha Mummy at one end and Beta Mummy at the other end.

Beta Mummy and the Other Bloggers


I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because let’s be honest, if you’re a blogger yourself, you’ve probably read plenty of these write-ups already.  And if you’re not a blogger, you probably don’t give a damn that I met a load of other bloggers last weekend.  Did you even know that blogging conferences were a thing?  I know I didn’t, before I, Beta Mummy, became immersed in this strange, slightly egocentric, very friendly, and exceedingly nutty world.

Humour and Heartbreak


This post was originally written for the fantastic Creative Mothers series featured on Lucy’s fantastic Occupation: (M)other blog.  I have included the post in its entirety below.  I was so shy about this post being published, but having had so many positive comments about it on Lucy’s blog , I’m really glad that I did.  

After meeting lots of my fellow bloggers a bit better at Britmums Live, I thought this week would be a good opportunity to publish this getting-to-know-me post on my own page.  It’s not my usual silliness, but I hope you enjoy finding out a little bit more about the story behind Beta Mummy.  Normal service will resume next week!