Browsing Category : Alpha/Beta Mummy Doodles

Sunday lunch, the Beta Mummy way


I love a roast dinner.  Depending on my mood, my favourite is either roast lamb or roast pork.  Or roast chicken.  Or beef.  Basically I love roasted animal of any kind – but in my mind it’s all about the roast potatoes, the perfect roast potato is a glorious thing.  The thing about roast dinner is that there are a lot of trimmings, to really make it right.  You’ve got to have Yorkshire puddings, and stuffing.  At least three types of veg.  Gravy.  Maybe some pigs in blankets.  The whole thing takes a lot of time and effort to prepare, and then the whole lot gets scoffed in a disproportionately small number of minutes.

The Easter Beta Bunny.


Happy Easter everyone!  May your little darlings be little darlings, may family arguments over the last mini egg be few, may the hot cross buns be plentiful, and may you get the odd quiet moment here and there to enjoy a hot cup of tea (a.m.) and/or a nice big glass of wine (p.m.)*  🙂

That’s Not My Body…


My kids and I have always loved the Usborne “That’s Not My…” series of books. One day I was reading my little ‘un one of the books, and I wondered what a mum’s version might look like…

I’m a Beta Mummy, breastfeeding


You know what, I have been putting off doing a doodle about breastfeeding for so long, and despite many requests.  Why, I hear you cry?  Because,dear reader, along with the whole fandango/sunroof birth thing (also not doodled as yet), it’s just so bloody contentious.  Whatever you say, and whatever angle you take, the nutcases crawl out of the woodwork and think it’s ok to start hurling accusations, guilt-trips and insults around.  So I’ll say it from the off – I won’t stand for it, it is just not cool.

Be(ta) My Valentine…


The vomit-inducing avalanche of red and pink hearts, novelty chocolates and fluffy handcuffs bombarding my senses every time I leave the house or switch on the TV can only mean one thing…the January sales are far behind us and it’s time to crack on with the next Capitalist date in the diary – Valentine’s Day.

5.56am


5.56am.  A time I see a little too often for my liking.  I hear a “Muuuuuuuuuum” calling from the bathroom, or a “thud thud thud thud” stomping along the hallway followed by a crash as the door is enthusiastically thrown open.  I mutter “for fuck’s sake” under my breath, open one eye and peer in the direction of my radio alarm clock which I no longer bother setting.  05:56.  05-fucking-56.  It always seems to be 5.56.

Christmas Baking with Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy


There are certain activities that a good mother simply MUST do with her children at Christmas in order to portray that perfect image of family bliss on social media.  These include decorating the Christmas tree, attending the nativity at church, visiting Father Christmas at a suitably expensive grotto experience, taking an adorable Christmas jumper-clad family portrait, and of course, festive baking – usually in the form of a gingerbread house.

If you can’t manage these then frankly, you need to try a bit harder – it is Christmas after all.

Nose-picking Shepherds and Bum-scratching Kings


Last week it was FC#1’s school nativity.  I like my son’s school for many reasons, but I particularly like the fact that they do a proper old-fashioned nativity.  None of this weird “holiday lobster/zebra/hamster” shit.  I am not remotely religious (far from it), but at this time of year you just can’t beat a good old sing-song at the local church and having a discrete weep at the overwhelming cuteness of little kids dressed as shepherds and angels.

Decorating the Tree: are you an Alpha or a Beta?


December is upon us – how did that happen?  This year has whizzed past and it seems like only yesterday I was grumbling and cursing as I forced all the Christmas decorations back into their boxes and gazed despairingly around at my naked, filthy-with-a-dusting-of-glitter house.  But here we are again. Christmas.

Can I tell you a secret?  You may be surprised to learn that…

Beta Mummy Does the Downward Dog


Oh brilliant – yoga! I thought.  A form of exercise which involves a sit down, a nice stretch, and a bit of a snooze at the end.  That sounds right up my street, much more appealing than *shudder* running.  Despite my Beta Mummy status, I too now could be a lean, lithe, green smoothie-drinkie healthy type, just like Alpha Mummy!

Sadly, and perhaps inevitably, it turns out that I’m not really cut out for yoga.