Why Every Woman Needs a Wolf Pack

My wolf pack is like a second family.  My wolf pack is a group of women who are like sisters to me, and who I can rely upon for virtually anything.  Despite knowing each other for only a few years – we met through baby groups – we love and would do anything for each other as though we have been friends forever.  I think every woman needs a wolf pack.  I could not survive without mine, and here’s why:

Image of wolf howling at the moon

  • We are stronger than the sum of our parts.  In our little group of five, we have an excellent seamstress, we have more than one brilliant baker.  We have thrifty types who can always find a bargain, practical ones who can help with DIY or gardening, and we have medical bods who can be called on instead of resorting to 111.  We are a microcosm of (granted, somewhat middle-class) society – none of us have everything, but between us we do pretty well!
  • There is always someone there when you need them.  We’re not a huge group, but it’s hard to get us all together very often, despite living really locally to one another.  However, being so close as a group, I can more or less guarantee that at least one person will be available if I need a friend.  Some of us work, some of us don’t, but we see each other as often as we can, usually with the kids, but as often as we can wangle it, without.  A Whatsapp message to the group is all it takes to secure a cup of tea, a listening ear and a hug when needed, and I love that.  Together we support, we commiserate and we celebrate through all of life’s ups and downs…and there is usually always cake involved.
  • Communal parenting.  They say that it takes a village to raise a child; my wolf pack is my village!  I reckon that sometimes, if we’re out en masse, it’s probably not immediately obvious which child belongs to who.  We spend so much time together that the kids play (and fight) like siblings, and we mums administer tickings-off as and when.  We trust each other to look after each others’ children, and the children know us all well enough to be perfectly happy to be dropped off at someone’s house whilst mum goes to the supermarket or to get the coil fitted (because nobody needs a 3-year old peering up their bits asking the nurse what they’re doing to Mummy’s front bottom).  And our group camping trip was brilliant because between us we were (probably) collectively just about sober enough to keep an eye on the littles.
  • Husband borrowing.  Despite being a strong and independent woman who don’t need no man…furniture is heavy and I REALLY hate mowing the lawn.  At times like these I really miss having a husband.  My wolf pack supplies me with four potential husbands to borrow as and when required…but no, you dirty beasts, there are no keys in a bowl at our gatherings, thank you very much!
  • We protect each other.  Wolves are fierce!  And very, very loyal.  I have realised this in particular since my marriage came crashing down around me.  I never knew that such sweet, gorgeous creatures could be so snarly and vicious!  Towards my ex, that is.  My wolf pack lived out my anger, hurt and indignation, and actually that protected me from myself.  They fielded and felt my emotions for me, and this meant that I was able to stay relatively calm and objective throughout the whole sorry scenario.  It was totally unexpected but I really think they kept me afloat during that time- I’m not sure I’d have made it through the last eighteen months without them.  On a more day-to-day and less dramatic basis, we just try to look after each other.  We deliver wine-and-cake care packages to doorsteps when someone’s had a tough day at work, ask if anyone needs anything before we make a trip to Ikea or Aldi, and offer to take the toddler if pregnant mum needs a nap.  It’s what wolfies do.

A doodle of 5 friends holding hands, sillouetted against a setting sun.

I am a very very lucky lady to have my wolf pack, I know that – believe me I really do.  They are the best friends that a girl could ever ask for, and I only hope that I can be as good a friend as they have been to me over the past few years.  In this day and age, where relationships are lived out through memes and statuses, and where despite all the noise people report feeling lonelier and lonelier, it has never been more important to make the effort to reach out and connect.  Motherhood has cemented that for me:  I don’t know how any woman survives the early weeks, months and years without their sisters.

Call it a friendship group, call it a tribe, call it whatever you like, but every woman needs a wolf pack.  


Do you have a wolf pack or are you more of a lone wolf?  Would you add anything to my list of reasons why we all need one?

14 Comments

  • Jo 12/01/2017 at 5:59 am

    What a powerful piece Beth. In the first few years i had a wolf pack and they were life and mind savers. How anyone gets thro that time alone beats me. Xjo

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 12/01/2017 at 1:58 pm

      Thanks Jo. I really feel for people going through this time on their own – motherhood can feel so lonely sometimes x

      Reply
  • Sarah - Mum & Mor 12/01/2017 at 1:38 pm

    I’m happy you have your own group of friends to support you during such difficult times. You’re so strong. I can’t imagine being a single parent. So much respect to you! I sadly don’t have any friends here in Denmark, so I find having online friends is a huge help. I found my own lovely ‘wolf pack’ in the Tribe (Tribal Chat). I think I would’ve gone nuts without the support and love.

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 12/01/2017 at 1:57 pm

      Thank you. It’s a shame that you haven’t yet found friends in Denmark but it’s brilliant that you feel so supported by the Tribe. X

      Reply
  • Cordelia Feldman 12/01/2017 at 8:17 pm

    This is lovely. Am 37 and have severe bipolar 1 and secondary breast cancer and am single after a horrible breakup last March. So I’m in a very different place from my friends who are Mums, career women or sometimes both. Wish I had a Wolf Pack like your one – they sound great!

    Tend to have mainly male friends these days, Or am friends with older women with grown-up kids. Miss having a real group of friends….

    I blog at http://www.rapidcyclistwordpresscom.wordpress.com or “The Rapid Cyclist” Facebook page if you want to have a look.

    Best wishes,

    Cordelia

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 12/01/2017 at 8:24 pm

      Thank you for your comments. I’m sorry to hear about your situation, life does love to throw shit about sometimes, doesn’t it? I hope things improve for you, you never know what’s around the corner. I will definitely check out your blog, thanks! Love xx

      Reply
  • Let your light shine Mummy 12/01/2017 at 9:02 pm

    It’s so wonderful to have an amazing group of friends, yours sound fab.
    I especially love when parents can step into a surrogate parent role, and everyone is totally cool with that. You need those kind of friends. I am also blessed to have a good group of friends. Thanks for sharing xx

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 12/01/2017 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you. Yes, communal parenting is great! 🙂

      Reply
  • Tash 12/01/2017 at 9:37 pm

    Apart from baby cuddles, my favourite thing about working with mums and babies was watching friendships blossom xxx

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 12/01/2017 at 9:43 pm

      Assuming you’re the Tash I think you are, you have made such an amazing difference to so many women and babies xxx

      Reply
  • Nell 13/01/2017 at 10:32 am

    Sounds lovely! I don’t have a wolf pack but I have a very good friend 🙂

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 13/01/2017 at 10:40 am

      You two can be your own little pack 🙂 x

      Reply
  • Emma Island Living 365 14/01/2017 at 1:49 pm

    Ahhh, this is such a wonderful post. I am very lucky to have my tribe and although we are now seperated by that pesky sea, I know that we are still there for each other at the end of the phone, email or skype. A good set of friends are everything. xx

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 14/01/2017 at 1:57 pm

      It is lovely, but it must be hard not being together physically xx

      Reply

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