Beta Daddy Series – Introducing Papa Tont

Welcome back for the second in my Beta Daddy Series, where I shine the spotlight on the failings and celebratings of Beta (or Alpha) Dads, and deflect some scrutiny away from my own shortcomings for once.  As I explained previously, I have been asked many times about whether or not there is a Beta Daddy.  The short answer is no, not in my house, but just as there are many many Beta Mummies, surely there must be plenty of Beta Daddies out there too…?

I have a post for you today written by Papa Tont – an inspirational military dad of two gorgeous kids.Papa (Tony) Tont writes  until recently(!) wrote a very powerful blog about the trials and tribulations of being a parent and balancing his career with family life.  For now, however, he can just be found on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter – see links below.  I particularly admire the honest way he talks about difficult topics such as mental illness – issues that people (and particular men) shy away from.  Papa Tont’s Beta Daddy post is funny but bittersweet:

“I was really struggling to come up with something for this; not because my life is so Alpha, more it’s boring. Although one incident has framed quite a lot of how I behave with the kids (and myself).

My brother and I are quite competitive, but all our lives he has been the better looking, more successful, Alpha brother; when it comes to daddying he always seems to have the better, more interesting stories and appears so much more adventurous than me. He told me a story about how he had thrown his son about 6 feet in the air and let him land on deep soft snow in the garden, much to the son’s delight.

For whatever reason, whilst enjoying a picnic at a theme park (Chessington’s I think) this story flashed through my mind after I’d thrown my 18 month old daughter in the air the usual 6 inches. With an almighty oomph I threw her in the air and, without exaggeration the bottom of her foot must have been 3 feet higher than my outstretched hand. I very nearly dropped her. I caught her about 1 foot from the ground using my finger tips.

Ever since then, I’ve developed a fear of heights, actually not heights, more specifically falling and splatting from a height. It gets worse when I’m with my kids. I can’t walk across a bridge with a child on my shoulders because I’m scared I’ll drop them; I can’t carry my kids up the stairs of a slide, aeroplane, attraction, shopping centre, without being terrified of an inevitable fall.

Being a Beta Daddy trying to out do Alpha Daddy has significantly plunged me further into Beta Daddydom.”

Beta_Papa Tont

Poor old Papa Tont.  If there is one thing I think we can all learn from this story is that we should all parent the way that comes naturally to us.  Whilst I believe that it’s always good to push the boundaries of our comfort zones, trying to force yourself to parent someone else’s way is only going to make you end up feeling inadequate.  Find your place on the Alpha-Beta parent spectrum, and make yourself comfy!

You can find Papa Tont here:

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  • Cherry - The Newby Tribe 06/11/2016 at 8:34 pm

    I love this series! So funny – my other half has started reading too – I think it makes him feel a bit better about his parenting! #eatsleepblogrt

  • Adventures of Mummy and Me 06/11/2016 at 9:51 pm

    What a great post! Definitely one of those motivational stories of “Be your own kind of parent, not the one everyone else tells you to be”. I love the drawings for your posts btw. Brilliant 😀 #EatSleepBlogRT

  • Jenny 07/11/2016 at 8:24 pm

    Oh God! I can’t imagine the panic! Is it bad that I think the picture is really, really funny though?

  • Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes 07/11/2016 at 10:40 pm

    Love the drawings! Parenting is a challenge and one which is probably designed to make us feel constantly inadequate! #EatSleepBlogRT

  • Pat - White Camellias 08/11/2016 at 2:47 pm

    Good job you caught her though! Definitely no need to try be someone else when we parent. Being ourselves is often perfect for our little ones. Brilliant series 🙂 #EatSleepBlogRt

  • Petite Pudding 12/11/2016 at 5:35 pm

    Hey least you caught her right?! Still being the parent you are is the best idea, no point trying to be someone else. For example I am grumpy frazzled hair Mum – this is my lot in life, I have accepted it! #eatsleepblogrt


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