What Happened To My Face?!

I spend very little time looking in the mirror.  In fact, some days I realise in my work lunch break that I haven’t actually checked at any point that I don’t have breakfast in my teeth, toothpaste on my nose, or snot in my hair.  But the other morning I happened to take a good long look in the mirror.   MY GOD.  MY FACE!  What happened to my face?!

face_beta

In the four years since I had my darling children, I appear to have aged at least ten.  I have the haggard, strained look of a woman who has had a much harder life than mine has been.  My pale and pasty “English rose” complexion has taken on a slightly odd shade of grey, with a tinge of yellowish-brown around my eyes.  I have wrinkles, lots and lots of wrinkles.  I don’t mind the crows’ feet so much – they show that I’ve laughed a lot (and despite my online moaning, I do laugh a lot)…but the frown lines on my forehead are a worry.  Aargh, no, I’ve got to stop worrying! (I’m now typing one-handed as I desperately smooth out my between-the-eyebrows crevices…)

Talking of eyebrows, these two bad boys are a right old state.  Every so often (usually before a rare night out) I study my reflection and have a panic-plucking session.  This is usually interrupted mid-way by a poo disaster or a sibling-fight umpiring requirement, so inevitably one poor neglected eyebrow remains somewhat more neglected than the other.

face_alpha

I look at those Alpha Mummy-types, with their neatly-groomed, fresh faced youthfulness, and wonder how they do it…  Good genes?  Babies that sleep through the night?  Plenty of money to spend on miracle creams?  Perhaps I need to re-visit my beauty regime

In the meantime I’ll just keep on avoiding mirrors.

52 Comments

  • Pat - White camellias 01/08/2016 at 7:59 am

    Beth I just thinking the same the other day when I was in the lift! Completely agree there is no make up thick enough to hide my bags… #triballove

    Reply
  • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 01/08/2016 at 8:09 am

    Ah you’re not that haggard I’ve seen you 😋
    I feel very similar after last night’s disaster. Two kids, much puke, no sleep. I look about 54.
    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Single Mum Speaks 01/08/2016 at 8:11 am

    I can definitely identify with this one. I feel as though I’ve aged about 10 years in the last two. Where did my youthful face go? If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you look old at all! #tribe

    Reply
  • The Mum Project 01/08/2016 at 3:32 pm

    I swear this magical cream I have does the trick. But who knows, I never look in the mirror I’m always in a mad rush everywhere. The other day I went to the park with the fam and I was walking around like my house was on fire for no apparent reason, only until my boyfriend said something did I realise I could slow the fuck down hah. Anyway I have seen you in real life and I think you look beautiful so shut up hahaha. ; )

    Reply
  • Mum-Work-Repeat 01/08/2016 at 5:00 pm

    Oh I hear you, I divert my eyes every time I get in the lift at work. Anyone ever had that shock when you go to take a picture and you’ve flipped it so the image that pops up is you? 😱 I’ve decided the only thing for my bags is Polyfilla!

    Reply
    • Beta Mummy 01/08/2016 at 5:17 pm

      Aargh that makes me scream in horror every time! X

      Reply
  • Squirmy Popple 01/08/2016 at 6:57 pm

    Hahahah – oh, the random long face hairs! They’re always popping out in the weirdest places. I always find them under the bright lights in the bathroom at work and never have tweezers on me, so I just kind of pull at them awkwardly. Classy. #triballove

    Reply
  • Right Royal Mother 02/08/2016 at 6:06 am

    I actually don’t look in mirrors any more. I just gurn with NC or wipe them because they’re covered in felt tip. I think it’s better that way. And I also haven’t been to the hairdresser in 7 months (keep having to cancel the appointment because either too skint or a child needs looking after). You are not alone 🙂 Brill post, as always! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Sarah - Mum & Mor 02/08/2016 at 6:26 am

    They say having children ages you. So far I don’t look so different. I think that could change soon. Oh my. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Utterly feral 02/08/2016 at 7:02 am

    Botox…yes I need this! I have a deal with the hubby that he has to tell me when my brows get too outrageous….

    Reply
  • Utterly feral 02/08/2016 at 7:03 am

    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Nursery Whines 02/08/2016 at 7:05 am

    I’ve stopped looking at the woman in the mirror – I’ve got more chance trying to make the world a better place than sorting those eyebrows. #Chucklemums

    Reply
  • Emma 02/08/2016 at 7:09 am

    There is no way you are haggard. Me on the otherhand….my face is sliding, actually sliding. By the time I hit my forties….it will down round my knees. I think that’s where my boobs are too #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Mummy Muckups (Anna) 02/08/2016 at 7:10 am

    Don’t you just despise well lit bathrooms?! Way too much information. I feel every bit like yourself; desperate to colour my greys!!! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Rach 02/08/2016 at 8:55 am

    Ha ha ha, this resonates with me. Since becoming a Mum 3 years ago I look I’ve just turned 50 not 30! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Gemma Nuttall 02/08/2016 at 9:58 am

    Pahahahaha!! Beta mummy strikes again. Fabulous as always.
    I am certain you don’t look old and haggard, but I know how you feel completely. I hate those brightly illuminated mirrors especially. My parents have one and I avoid it every time we are there!
    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Suzanne 02/08/2016 at 12:19 pm

    I remember asking the husband a few weeks ago how some mums manage to look so glamorous all the time and then I realised they just cared more than I do! I’d rather grab all the sleep I can then get up half an hour before the Child to apply eyeliner flicks. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Alison (MadHouseMum) 02/08/2016 at 12:46 pm

    This is just so true! The funny thing is, I went through a stage of looking at myself fairly irregularly and think oh shit this and oh bloody hell that and then I just stopped looking so hard…and it works! Take a little step back and think: overall, considering my life I scrub up ok 🙂 Alison x #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Hayley McLean 02/08/2016 at 1:23 pm

    HA!! Oh you’ve made me realise that my random sprouting chin hairs and 5 month roots aren’t that abnormal – THANK YOU! 😀 #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Audrey Scott 02/08/2016 at 1:58 pm

    Just found your blog via Twitter and have to say I have been avoiding my house work all morning as I read lol! Loved this post as it reminds me of me but also how hilariously funny all mom’s lives have become since children came along 🙂

    Reply
  • Kelly 02/08/2016 at 2:58 pm

    Aaaargh as if child rearing doesn’t do enough to ruin our bodies but it soon takes it’s toll on our faces!! It’s just not fair. Be billing my lot for both in years to come #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Alice Nipper and Tyke 02/08/2016 at 4:39 pm

    Avoiding mirrors is my strategy, and also avoiding accidental selfie cam. That really is the worst! The angle does wonders to multiply your chins… :/
    x Alice
    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Pat - White Camellias 02/08/2016 at 7:33 pm

    Back form #chucklemums and still haven’t found anything capable of covering the bags under my eyes…

    Reply
  • Mouse, Moo and Me Too 02/08/2016 at 7:48 pm

    Every day seems to generate a new crows foot – I’ve got a whole bloody nest of them around one eye alone! You’ve got really nice hair though, promise 😉 #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Turning Up In Devon 02/08/2016 at 8:03 pm

    I reckon it’s all the inane grinning and gurning we do for our babies and then frowning at toddler tantrums all mixed up with severe lack of sleep and voila #haggered. I’m sure you’re not btw. Thank god for industrial strength make-up and trowels to apply it I say! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • the frenchie mummy 02/08/2016 at 9:41 pm

    I have some days like that too. As you said at the end, better avoiding mirrors… #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Lucy 07/08/2016 at 8:26 pm

    There are some days when it is best just to not go near mirrors!
    On the other hand, try and find some me time to get yourself booked in for a nice pick me up treatment, like having your hair done – I treated myself to getting my eyebrows waxed and tinted by Benefit and I felt a million dollars after!! #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Jessica Foley 08/08/2016 at 1:01 am

    I do have days where I don’t realize I haven’t actually “looked” at myself in a mirror until after lunch. How does that happen? I guess I’m in such a rush making sure the kids are fed (I likely skipped breakfast too!) and look alright for their day I don’t spend much time thinking about myself. Must be that #momlife thing,=.
    #EatSleepBlogRT
    ~Jess

    Reply
  • Fridgesays 08/08/2016 at 11:56 am

    The only reflection you need is from puddles; plus you can stomp on them after and they don’t show any detail 🙂 #EatSleepBlogRT

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  • A Mum Track Mind 08/08/2016 at 6:28 pm

    Oh god this cracked me up! I’ve just been poking at my own face in the mirror wondering what the hell happened! Great post #eatsleepBlogRT
    x

    Reply
  • Silly Mummy 09/08/2016 at 12:59 am

    Haha! Only 7 months since hairdresser? I’m well over a year! On the plus side, I don’t dye my hair so no roots, but it’s way too long & straggly! I avoid mirrors these days too! Sorry for lateness! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Laura: Adventures with J 09/08/2016 at 12:26 pm

    Oh this is just not true!! You look fabulous! I had my hair cut recently for the first time in over a year, never have time to wear make-up and can’t remember the last time I plucked my eyebrows! They are very blonde thankfully… but maybe I should go check them out – just in case they need an emergency session! #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Sarah@teammomlife 09/08/2016 at 6:36 pm

    Oh my I feel this way most of the days. Even though I do my hair and makeup for work everyday I still feel like a walking disaster. I am in such a need for a trip to a salon. It’s been 8 months since my hair has been touched. Thanks for sharing! #eatsleeoblogRT

    Reply
  • Nadia - ScandiMummy 10/08/2016 at 9:43 am

    Ha ha ha… I started rubbing my wrinkly forehead while reading this. Need to see a hairdresser too… #EatSleepBlogRT

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

    Reply
  • Rachel (Lifeofmyfamilyandme) 12/08/2016 at 10:57 am

    Lol! I don’t like mirrors either – or my crows feet! When i smile or laugh i look all wrinkly boo! Another honest yet funny post to read 🙂 #EatSleepBlogRt

    Reply
  • Petite Pudding 12/08/2016 at 7:34 pm

    I am with you – lets avoid mirrors together! My poor eyebrows, they never get a look in these days… #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Nicole | The Professional Mom Project 13/08/2016 at 9:23 pm

    Love this! I totally understand and feel the same way about the nasty wrinkles between my eyebrows and the random grey hairs that keep popping up… #kcacols

    Reply
  • Helen 13/08/2016 at 9:35 pm

    Totes hilaire! And sadly totes relatable 🙁
    Yes the the random hair, cheeky chops and roots. When did this happen?! Just as well we don’t have time to look. x #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Themotherhub 13/08/2016 at 9:40 pm

    I have started noticing a slight sag around the neck area ! What has happened to me?? I am young !! #kcacols

    Reply
  • Rebecca 13/08/2016 at 9:45 pm

    OMG YES to all of this post! I’ts the not checking of I have anything between the teeth thing that I’m guilty of most – why does no one point it out though? #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • mainy - myrealfairy 13/08/2016 at 10:29 pm

    Brilliant post! I’ve started avoiding selfies now as it was all too shocking to see the lines!;) I bet you look great:) Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.
    mainy x

    Reply
  • five little doves 14/08/2016 at 11:13 am

    SO true! I have five children, three under three, and I look at photos of when I had my third and I look at least ten years younger! This last three years I have sprouted grey hairs, eye bags, saggy jowls….I’m terrified to look in the mirror each morning for fear of spotting more signs of ageing! Kids!!!! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • The Hippy Christian Mum 14/08/2016 at 3:57 pm

    Argh my face too.How many years did I take for granted my lovely skin tone and complexion. Take me back so I can enjoy it more! I have this weird green/grey hue thing occurring. Don’t get me started on my hair! #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • alex 14/08/2016 at 5:27 pm

    I just had a look at your instagram account to see if you’re being over dramatic or not and you are!! You’re gorgeous – even with uneven eyebrows! #KCACOLS

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    • Beta Mummy 14/08/2016 at 5:48 pm

      Ha ha you’ve found the one picture of me! It’s a particularly good one though 😉

      Reply
  • Ali Duke 14/08/2016 at 5:40 pm

    I know this feeling. The bags under my eyes have bags lol. I really do not know how these women find the time (and money) to look so good all the time, they must be robots or something.
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • TheIrishBabyFairy 15/08/2016 at 2:06 pm

    Another classic post. I can totally relate. Only have one child and in the 5.5 months he’s been with us, I’d say I’ve also aged 10 years. Those bloody frown lines on forehead actually had me googling “how to get rid of forehead wrinkles without botox” yesterday. It didn’t give me any solutions either. So those alpha mums must get botox and have live in nannies so they get all their beauty sleep. # KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Madeline (This Glorious Life) 15/08/2016 at 7:10 pm

    I can’t even remember the last time I went to the hairdressers; I cut and dye my hair myself at home! I’m in awe of the polished mums I see on the school run! x #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Claire 16/08/2016 at 4:52 am

    I know this feeling. A year with a child seems to have about seven times that an effect on your face! #kcacols

    Reply
  • jeremy@thirstydaddy 16/08/2016 at 1:40 pm

    The permanent bags under my eyes I can deal with. I tend to wonder what happened to my hair. Its turning grey and there seems to be much less of it than there used to be #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Emma (Upside Mum) 18/08/2016 at 10:04 pm

    I feel like this all the time! I swear it gets worse every time I look. Bring back the to show ’10 years younger’ and she would have her work cut out with me! #kcacols

    Reply
  • Jo Sandelson 24/02/2017 at 10:52 am

    Fooproof trick to make you look 15 years younger.
    1. Become shortsighted
    2. Put on sunglasses
    3. Look at self in mirror from other side of room. (If room small then stand outside in corridor and peer in from there).

    Reply

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