Sex: Are you an Alpha Mum or a Beta Mum?

Sex. ย Us Beta Mums don’t really have the energy these days, do we? ย Given the chance of an early night, I’m thinking comfy PJs, fluffy socks, and a nice Twitter/Instagram/Facebook scroll before rolling over and catching up onย a little bit of that four-year sleep deficit.

 

No doubt there are some Alpha Mummies who are at it every which way and at every opportunity, but frankly, I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Life, Love and Dirty Dishes

73 Comments

  • Luisa Giordano 17/03/2016 at 10:24 pm

    Brilliantly hilarious and worryingly true!

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  • Life Love and Dirty Dishes 18/03/2016 at 1:45 pm

    Brilliant! Fluffy socks are sexy, right? Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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  • mama zen 18/03/2016 at 2:13 pm

    Brilliant #FridayFrolics

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  • Nadia - ScandiMummy 18/03/2016 at 6:50 pm

    Ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚ Very good! #coolmumclub

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  • motherhoodtherealdeal 18/03/2016 at 7:12 pm

    OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE this! A picture can speak a thousand words eh? Thanks so much for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

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  • Mum-Work-Repeat 18/03/2016 at 10:54 pm

    The chance would be a fine thing – been toooo long! #singlemum
    P.s your drawings are great not to mention very amusing!

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  • Vickie Ceccato 25/03/2016 at 2:05 am

    Ha! I guess we’ve all been there:) #bestandworst:) Shared!

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  • fairyqueen 27/03/2016 at 10:15 pm

    Brilliant drawings, I looked at your other posts and made a beeline for this one! I’m so glad to see that I’m not the only one who falls into the beta mum bedtime antics:) X

    Mainy – myrealfairy

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  • Sarah Stockley (@kipperscurtains) 28/03/2016 at 2:47 pm

    That’s hilarious and oh so true! I need to show my hubby to prove that this is normal behaviour x #FabFridayPost

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  • Mandy Walsh (@RTR_Blog) 03/04/2016 at 7:39 pm

    haha Love it, so true I am definitely NOT an alpha Mummy
    #JustAnotherLinky

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  • helen gandy 04/04/2016 at 9:45 am

    Haha, this is spot on!! Brilliant, thanks for linking up #bestandworst

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  • mummuddlingthrough 04/04/2016 at 6:53 pm

    Ha ha – popping by from #coolmumclub, at the recommendation of Talya. This is hilarious!!! Fluffy socks, perfect ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  • Welcome to the #coolmumclub…week 21! | Motherhood: The Real Deal 07/04/2016 at 7:30 am

    […] Sex – by The Adventures of Beta Mum –ย I just loved this funny and cute doodle post about what having sex as parents looks like […]

    Reply
  • beautybabyandme 07/04/2016 at 7:32 am

    Brilliant post – laughing my head off!! Fellow fan of fluffy socks! #coolmumclub

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  • colleyswobbles 07/04/2016 at 8:23 pm

    Amazing! I nearly just weed chuckling away to myself ๐Ÿ˜‚ x

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  • The Mum Project 08/04/2016 at 4:35 pm

    Haha I absolutely love this!! So true on the 2 min thang lols what happened to our stamina? #coolmumclub

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  • Emma - meandbmaketea 11/04/2016 at 8:19 am

    haha love it! #marvmondays

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  • Kaye 11/04/2016 at 6:00 pm

    Haha, so so true! How things change once kids are around. I hardly have the energy anyway these days! Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays! Kaye xo

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  • theparentingjungle 13/04/2016 at 2:01 pm

    Haha I just cant help but love your drawings…LIGHTS OFF….Though to be honest the thought of it is tiring enought for me. I am totally on the grey pants train..I put an Iron man glove in with my underwear recently so everyhting is that white grey streaked pink colour. I can gaurantee if I have had a crappy day at work reading your posts wil lalways make me happy again. Thank you lovely #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 13/04/2016 at 2:21 pm

      Oh what a lovely comment, thank you! The whole point of my blog is to make people smile, so that’s fab to hear. Love the Iron Man story…! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Reply
  • babiesbiscuitsandbooze 13/04/2016 at 9:43 pm

    Hehehe this made me chuckle, your drawings are fab. I am always astounded at the people who’ve got pregnant again really quickly after their first baby – how is that possible?! It would have to be an immaculate conception for me paha. #BloggerClubUK

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  • abbey 15/04/2016 at 10:18 am

    Yep…the second scenario definitely looks more familiar ๐Ÿ™‚ #BloggerClubUK

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  • Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) 15/04/2016 at 5:12 pm

    ahahahahaah your cartoons are actually so bloody hilarious!! However I’d settle for Beta sex at the moment… one of the downsides of single mummydom!!
    #marvmondays

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    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 15/04/2016 at 5:15 pm

      Thank you! I’m right there with you because I am actually single too now so yeah, can’t afford to be too fussy ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Reply
  • Becky, Cuddle Fairy 19/04/2016 at 12:55 pm

    lol I’d say this sums it up for most parents! Love the bits you point out in the before & after photos like smooth legs! Brilliant & well deserved feature on Friday Frolics! Thanks so much for linking up with us at #bloggerclubuk x

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  • tammymum 23/04/2016 at 8:57 pm

    Oh you had my actually LOL. Bloody brilliant xxx

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  • Sammie 30/04/2016 at 10:52 am

    LOVE this

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  • justsayingmum 30/04/2016 at 4:36 pm

    oh you are hilarious woman! Love it! The freshly washed sheets vs the baby vomit – inspired! The clock! Just brilliant! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  • islandliving365 30/04/2016 at 6:19 pm

    Look, I hate to ask, and I am flattered but can you stop drawing pictures of my life. Hahaha. Genius as always. Love it! ๐Ÿ™‚ #fortheloveofblogs

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  • occupation:(m)other 01/05/2016 at 4:05 pm

    I may have already commented on this, apologies if so! But it doesn’t age in the enjoyment stakes! I particularly like the ‘exciting box of tricks’ and whether or not to be relieved or frustrated…haha! So true! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  • Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding) 01/05/2016 at 5:36 pm

    Oh so sadly true – especially the greying underwear(large pants are essential) and the ever intrusive baby monitor…. ‘hang on darling I think the baby has smothered herself…’ Hit the nail on the head as always! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  • The Unsung Mum 01/05/2016 at 7:42 pm

    Love all your posts but this one makes me smile! I’m just writing one like this as i realised recently we between my horrid kids crap sleep and my lost libdo we haven’t had it in ages! Ha! Poor Hub! He’ll get over it ๐Ÿ˜‰ #fortheloveofBLOG

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  • carolcliffe 04/05/2016 at 7:56 pm

    Haha very good, and very accurate! Interesting that all of your commenters can identify too….you have a knack of hitting the nail on the head! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  • caramckee 06/05/2016 at 9:00 am

    I’m impressed you might have old sex toys under the bed… my kids would have had those by now, probably covered them in Playdoh! I must be a gamma mummy!

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  • Helen 23/05/2016 at 1:11 pm

    Ha. I think it’s romantic that they’re facing each other! Bad times eh?! Brilliant stuff. x #bigpinklink

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  • mumzilla 23/05/2016 at 1:44 pm

    I think this is my very favourite ๐Ÿ˜€ #bigpinklink #tribe

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  • pinkpearbear 23/05/2016 at 7:33 pm

    Looooooooooooooooool you crack me up!!!!! This is just blimming brilliant, I bet Alpha mummy had time for a bikini wax too, no unkempt bush for her! ๐Ÿ˜‰ #bigpinklink

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  • Sarah 24/05/2016 at 1:50 am

    Very true and as always very funny! Im definitely more of a Beta mummy. #bigpinklink #triballove

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  • 2travellingtots 01/07/2016 at 12:22 pm

    Actually just cried laughing…so so true…

    Reply
  • Five Simple Steps to Becoming a Beta Mummy – The Adventures of Beta Mummy 04/07/2016 at 6:56 am

    […] OFFERED. Alpha Mummy may well manage to keep the baby happy, the house immaculate and the husband serviced, but seriously woman, just go take a […]

    Reply
  • Fran Back With a Bump 20/09/2016 at 7:11 am

    Haha this is so true!! Ahh the good old days. I have a bag of sexy undies in the top of the wardrobe. I can’t actually remember the last time I got any of them out! We’re usually so tired by the time we go to bed it’s all about getting sleep in before the baby wakes rather than bonking! #chucklemums

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  • The Speed Bump 20/09/2016 at 7:59 am

    Wish I could say I was alpha but, as usual, I’m in beta mummy mode! #chucklemums

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  • Sarah - Mum & Mor 20/09/2016 at 8:28 am

    I’m sure many can relate to this! It’s like a race for me nowadays. Get whatever you can while the baby is asleep! #chucklemums

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  • Alison (MadHouseMum) 20/09/2016 at 10:32 am

    Ha, brilliant! Then when the kids lie-in you get dogs and the cycle starts all over again…I mean, why? Waatcha doin woof? Alison x #chucklemums

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  • Emma | The Mini Mes and Me 20/09/2016 at 10:46 am

    I adore your little doodles! I’m actually far more demanding than the Mr sexually ha x

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  • Emma 20/09/2016 at 10:50 am

    I’m a once in a blue moon mummy because I value my sleep! #chucklemums

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  • Cheryl @ Tea or Wine 20/09/2016 at 10:52 am

    You’re drawings are totally spot on and this sums it up completely! #Chucklemums

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  • Tilly @ Mummy Rules 20/09/2016 at 12:26 pm

    Surely an Alpha Mummy by day wouldn’t have the energy to continue it at night?! Oh hold on, this is Alpha Mummy we are talking about, OK… i imagine the only time us Beta Mummy’s manage it is when we are trying to conceive!?! Oh the irony… #chucklemums ps. I am a big fan of bed socks

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  • Laura @ The Dysfunctional Mother Blog 20/09/2016 at 12:36 pm

    This is hilarious. I am so the Beta mummy in this scenario. Not even sorry #chucklemums

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  • Turning Up In Devon 20/09/2016 at 12:49 pm

    Scarily accurate and sooooo funny. Your drawings are always a joy to behold! Loved *supposedly soundo toddler*#chucklemums

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  • Agent Spitback 20/09/2016 at 1:24 pm

    Bwahahaha…large pants and bra!! And the lights off….nodding along and laughing. All so true. Your drawings make me laugh! Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

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  • Baby Anon 20/09/2016 at 1:53 pm

    Oooh-errrr missus (of course, Mother and Father have absolutely no need to do this again ever at all now that they have me) #chucklemums

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  • kristin mccarthy 20/09/2016 at 1:58 pm

    omg yes! Check out my post dear husband…

    I wrote it for Suburban Misfit Mom and it is on my site http://www.fourprincessesandthecheese.com as well.

    Bravo! The sketches are so awesome.

    #chucklemums

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  • Mummy Wales 20/09/2016 at 2:38 pm

    Always one ear out for the ‘dum, dum, dum’ of toddler feet. Although in my head its to the tune of a horror movie ‘dum, dum, daaah’!
    #chucklemums

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  • Squirmy Popple 20/09/2016 at 7:11 pm

    I can’t get over the fluffy bed socks! #chucklemums

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  • Mouse, Moo and Me Too 20/09/2016 at 7:24 pm

    I quite enjoy the pivotal pause when you’re almost done (ahem) then both imagine you can hear a child escaping from their bed. Very definite passion killer, even if your ears deceive you. #chucklemums

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  • Suzanne 20/09/2016 at 7:34 pm

    Seriously who can really be arsed these days? I reckon even Alpha Mum would rather be watching a repeat of Mock the Week on Dave.

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  • Nursery Whines 20/09/2016 at 7:37 pm

    The only thing that frustrates me is how often people with children want to get it on on TV. It’s just not realistic. Loved this post. #Chucklemums

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  • Single Mum Speaks 20/09/2016 at 9:25 pm

    Oh I can’t believe I haven’t seen this one before! Hilarious. I am in the third bracket, that one being “no sex at all” so I can’t possibly comment! #chucklemums

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  • Jenny 21/09/2016 at 2:03 pm

    Hahahha your pictures always crack me up! And I never have smooth legs.

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  • Jenny 21/09/2016 at 2:04 pm

    Also, #chucklemums

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  • the frenchie mummy 21/09/2016 at 7:57 pm

    Brilliant yet so true! I find a lot of myself in this lol #chucklemums

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  • lizzie - the identity thieves 21/09/2016 at 8:22 pm

    This is amazing! I rarely properly belly-laugh-out-loud at posts, but this did it! #chucklemums

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  • Sophie- My Mumblings 21/09/2016 at 8:45 pm

    It’s not just me who owns a large grey bra!? Whoop whoop… I no longer feel alone in my off-white undies! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Xx #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Kelly 27/03/2017 at 4:34 am

    I want to say alpha but that would be telling a fib. Thanks for the laugh.

    Reply

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