Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy do… Pregnancy.

There are some people (Alpha Mummy I’m looking at you) who seem to have been born to be pregnant. They conceive at just the perfect time (September baby, ideal) at the first time of trying. They eat and drink everything they’re “supposed” to, and nothing they’re not. With a carefully chosen, fashionable maternity wardrobe they manage to look stylish and elegant as their compact bump blooms, whilst they add pregnancy yoga and hypnobirthing classes into their usual exercise programme (which they continue up until at least 38 weeks).

Doodle of Alpha Mummy as epitome of perfect pregnancy - she has a neat little bump, looks like a proper yummy mummy, and just glows with the beauty of pregnancy.

Then there’s the rest of us.  Say no more…

Doodle of Beta Mummy who is having a thoroughly miserable pregnancy. Her ailments include a fucked back, a ruined belly button, cankles and fanny daggers.


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  • Sarah @ Mum & Mor 30/05/2016 at 6:20 am

    I laughed hard at the latest doodles. I was definitely beta mummy when pregnant! #TribalLove

  • Dr Mummykins 30/05/2016 at 6:54 am

    Hahahahaha!!! I feel the urge to go find the mini marquee I wore during the last trimester and show it to you! My MIL gave me this massive African print sheet with a huge rope to tie around my waist. I laughed at her…’pah, I’m gonna be the skinny jean mum’…guess who had the last laugh tho… Another fab post! #triballove x x

  • fancypaperblog 30/05/2016 at 6:54 am

    Don’t forget the heartburn! I was definitely picture 2. Still am and baby is 7 months!!

  • twotinyhands 30/05/2016 at 7:12 am

    I totally had a marquee dress! It was really pretty but just made me look more pregnant! #triballove

  • mumzilla 30/05/2016 at 9:52 am

    Hahahahah…dare I ask, what are fanny daggers?!?!

    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 30/05/2016 at 10:11 am

      You didn’t have the joy of fanny daggers?! It’s that stabbing feeling you get in your groin where your pelvis is basically falling apart and your baby is trying to kick his way out of your bits 🙂

      • mumzilla 30/05/2016 at 10:19 am

        No didn’t get those!! Phew!!

  • laughing mum 30/05/2016 at 3:17 pm

    haha! I love your drawings, they are so true every time! 😉 #bigpinklink

  • islandliving365 30/05/2016 at 5:32 pm

    bahahahahaha fanny daggers!!!!! I had this and I have never told anyone because I couldn’t think how to describe it and you have gone and nailed it right there #bigpinklink

  • swapna 30/05/2016 at 7:53 pm

    haha! you’re funny!

  • Sassy 30/05/2016 at 8:48 pm

    Haha brilliant! Is there any way you can add alt text (descriptions) of the first doodle please? Big hugs and #TribalLove to you ❤️😚 Xxx

  • thetaleofmummyhood 30/05/2016 at 10:42 pm

    Brilliant! Absolutely love it!


  • discombubulated 31/05/2016 at 8:45 am

    “Fanny daggers”! Brilliant, I wish I’d known the term for it when it was happening outside the school gates and I could barely walk to pick up my older kids and literally had to be “helped” along by a kind person who noticed me walking very very slowly. Oh the laughs. Fantastic doodle, love it. Cake for breakfast is one thing I miss about pregnancy. The rest, not so much! x

  • Sarah@TeamMomLife 31/05/2016 at 12:22 pm

    Loved it of course! Have you ever seen the movie “what to expect when your expecting” it’s a funny play on the book series. It definitely shows the two type of pregnant women. I was without a doubt the Beta Mommy! Could always be found eating with my feet propped up. Thanks for sharing! #TribalLove

  • queenofmycastlesite 31/05/2016 at 12:33 pm

    I just spat out my coffee looking at this. too funny. 🙂 Cankles!

  • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 31/05/2016 at 12:34 pm

    I thought I had already commented – possibly it was on facebook! You need to add the mismatched shoes and hairy legs, and the bowling ball about to drop out and then you’ve got me spot on. Thanks for linking with #chucklemums: A pleasure (as always) to have you!

    • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 05/06/2016 at 7:27 pm

      I think this might actually be the third time I’ve been here because I’m a dunce but it made me laugh every time so hey, we all win. #KCACOLS

  • babiesbiscuitsandbooze 31/05/2016 at 3:21 pm

    Ahaha amazing! I was definitely more Beta Mummy. I was convinced I’d be Alpha Mummy though as I was so excited to get pregnant – funnily enough spots and mood swings and backache put paid to my yummy mummy-ness! #bigpinklink #triballove

  • justsayingmum 01/06/2016 at 7:36 am

    the contrast after reading the lovely gorgeous perfect alpha mummy and then scrolling to beta just makes me cry with laughter every time – just so so funny and so accurate – brilliant! #bigpinklink

  • Ruth Jayne 01/06/2016 at 11:02 am

    Haha, I read the bit where you said conceive at just the right time (September baby) and I was like “oh my god, I’m an alpha mum!” and then I read on… Beta Mummy all the way!

  • mumzilla 01/06/2016 at 4:01 pm

    Still brilliant, back from #chucklemums

  • justsayingmum 02/06/2016 at 9:51 am

    ha ha back from #ablogginggoodtime as post after me – fab to have another giggle!

  • Agent Spitback 02/06/2016 at 11:42 am

    Hahahaha! This is so funny! Fanny daggers and small marquee…hilarious as it is, it is like you said mostly true for the rest of us and you can guess I am definitely part of the “rest”. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  • Louise 02/06/2016 at 10:20 pm

    Lol, this is brilliant. I think I was definitely more Beta Mummy than Alpha Mummy when pregnant – and I’d forgotten all about the joys of having cankles until I spotted them on your picture! 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime

  • Liz Lowe 03/06/2016 at 9:36 am

    This is making me feel a whole lot better aboit the baby weight! Great post. #ablogginggoodtime

  • bridiebythesea 03/06/2016 at 11:24 am

    Hahaha this is brilliant! Yep I was a beta hormonal cow screaming “do not touch my boobs” to my poor other half. Absolutely spot on, as always 🙂 xxx #triballove

    • bridiebythesea 08/06/2016 at 7:53 pm

      Popping by again from #bigpinklink – so much love for this post! xx

  • Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) 03/06/2016 at 1:06 pm

    Yet another awesome adventure with Beta Mummy – I am starting to feel slightly sorry for her lol. I think I was a mix between the 2!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

  • occupation:(m)other 03/06/2016 at 9:31 pm

    I have a little bump and a September due baby – this is the closest I have EVER been to your alpha mummy. I’m a little scared! It’s ok I’m still very much in touch with my beta mummy roots as those are the only two elements alpha. I will need you educate me on what fanny daggers are but you can do that on DM if you want! #ablogginggoodtime

  • min1980 05/06/2016 at 4:51 pm

    I had Alpha Mummy’s neat bump, but boy, was it an enormous one. It was less football and more super giant beach ball. But I didn’t put weight on anywhere else (excepting the odd fat foot in the last few weeks!) so it looked particularly hilarious. Another classic from Beta Mummy! #KCACOLS #tribe

  • whatsmynameagain? 05/06/2016 at 5:47 pm

    Haha, love it. I was defo rockin the beta mummy look!
    S xx

  • kid can doodle 05/06/2016 at 6:14 pm

    I like your doodles! Is there a way you can brighten them up? They look a bit dark (in light).

  • Mrs T (@SothisismeMrsT) 05/06/2016 at 6:39 pm

    MEGABOOBS! that is me! pmsl #KCACOLS x

  • Educating Roversi 05/06/2016 at 7:45 pm

    I love this idea and love reading your posts. Your pictures are always so funny and I’m definitely Beta Mummy! #KCACOLS

  • islandliving365 05/06/2016 at 8:57 pm

    Just popping back again because I love this doodle, so funny and I need to keep looking at it when I am tempted to have another baby 😉 Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  • Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding) 05/06/2016 at 10:11 pm

    Brilliant – how do Alpha Mummy’s manage it? Love that you managed to get the fanny daggers in and the crazy hormonal moodiness! It is certainly a stark reminder of the joys of pregnancy 🙂 #chucklemums

  • Emma - meandbmaketea 06/06/2016 at 9:13 am

    love your doodles 🙂 so true too! beta was def me 🙂 #KCACOLS

  • tammymum 06/06/2016 at 9:54 pm

    Haha I love beta mummy. In my head I was soo alpha mummy in pregnancy, in reality, not so much… Xx #ablogginggoodtime

  • Allyson Greene 09/06/2016 at 8:27 am

    I love your little doodles, they always make me laugh, and I am pretty much always beta mummy!! #KCACOLS

  • Motherhood IRL 09/06/2016 at 9:39 am

    Fanny daggers! The fucking fanny daggers! They are THE WORST. I used to fall down in a pregnant and embarrassed/embarrassing heap in public when I got them. They were awful! #KCACOLS

  • Life Love and Dirty Dishes 12/06/2016 at 1:28 pm

    At last a name for it. Fanny Daggers. Brilliant. Not only was I beta pregnant mummy, I had to fight overwhelming urges of violent crimes towards alpha pregnant mummy and her perfect round bump. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  • Threesypeasy 12/06/2016 at 6:01 pm

    Hahaha brilliant ‘fanny daggers’ so funny. I was definitely beta mummy, my god I struggled with being pregnant I wanted to kill everyone. Not a pleasant time xx fab post as always #fridayfrolics

  • KaboodleMum 02/07/2016 at 7:36 pm

    Ahaha! I feel you beta mummy, I feel you! I definitely felt the same when I was expecting 😂😂

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