Like An Urchin in School Uniform

My original Feral Child, FC#1, has his first day at school next week.  Determined not to start his/our first ever school year term as a totally incompetent, useless, disorganised Beta Mummy, I have taken steps to shuffle at least a little way along the Alpha/Beta Mummy Spectrum.

  1. I bought myself a new diary, and wrote the term dates in it (you’re impressed, right?)
  2. I sorted out the massive bag of hand-me-down school uniform I was given (ok, an actual Alpha Mummy would buy new).
  3. I named all the uniform!  (I know, I know – I needed a sit down and a glass of wine, too, to recover from the shock).

You know how it’s gonna go though, the first day…

Alpha Mummy’s child looks like a model from the John Lewis uniform catalogue.

Doodle of Alpha Child's first day at school. Very smart, hair combed into side parting. EVERYTHING is clearly named and shoes are gleaming.

Beta Mummy’s child looks like a street urchin who has stolen some clothes off a washing line.

Beta Child's first day at school. He has refused point blank to have his hair brushed, and is shouting because he wanted to wear his Captain America costume. He already looks a complete scruff, with scuffed shoes and breakfast on this uniform.

 

I may be a Beta Mummy but I am determined that FC#1 will look vaguely presentable for his first day at school… Or at least the first hour.  At least I need to get the obligatory photo at the school gate.  Surely he can look smart until then?!

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

Life of My Family & Me

36 Comments

  • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 03/09/2016 at 12:41 pm

    Good luck, try not to cry 😉

    Reply
  • Emma 03/09/2016 at 5:46 pm

    I think I love Beta Mummy. This is also a timely reminder that I need to label their bloody clothes for Monday. Stay strong 🙂

    Reply
  • Phil Refuelled 03/09/2016 at 9:46 pm

    Y’know, if we keep calm, you might just, this once, pull this trick off! Shhh… 😌

    Reply
  • Mouse Moo Me Too 04/09/2016 at 6:32 am

    Just laughed so hard at the star wars lunch box that they don’t even like 😂

    Reply
  • Kelly Edwards 04/09/2016 at 1:57 pm

    You can do it! You could always crop out any breakfast stains… 😉

    Reply
  • James Hopes 04/09/2016 at 4:32 pm

    I read that you’d named the uniform and randomly thought you’d decided the trousers were ‘Dave’, the shirt ‘Annabel’ and the shoes ‘Pablo’. On reflection perhaps you just wrote your little one’s name in each… #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 04/09/2016 at 8:17 pm

    Back for #KCACOLS – see you next week! x

    Reply
  • mainy - myrealfairy 05/09/2016 at 6:47 am

    What a great way to start the day by reading this post, gave me such a laugh! Brilliant:)

    #eatsleepblogrt

    Reply
  • Not Just Phoebe 05/09/2016 at 9:12 am

    Love this so much! you always make me giggle and feel like a normal BETA MUMMY! Hope it went well and his new best friend isn’t a Alpha child…would make for a fun playdate! good luck and don’t cry x

    Reply
  • An imperfect mum (Catie) 05/09/2016 at 9:28 am

    Just brilliant (as mum and teacher) what is it with school shoes, they always look crap after one morning! I can not tell you the number of book bags that have been left in class this week, they just be too heavy! #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Squirmy Popple 05/09/2016 at 6:41 pm

    Good luck! The Popple is still years away from school, but I can’t imagine I’ll ever get her out the door without a breakfast splodge on her uniform. #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Karen : TwoTinyHands 05/09/2016 at 8:45 pm

    Ahhh good luck! Hope it goes/went well! Be a proud mumma for that first hour! #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Kirsty - winnettes 07/09/2016 at 12:18 pm

    Good luck getting the picture. I’m sure he’ll look fine for the first hour.
    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • Becky at PinksCharming 08/09/2016 at 7:45 pm

    Ha ha I LOVE this, I named the uniform the afternoon before and Ava went to school in a new cardigan but she got toothpaste on it and I did;t notice in time! Thea starts preschool in few weeks and has already scuffed her new shoes really badly. Ah well, maybe next year eh? #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Petite Pudding 09/09/2016 at 6:49 pm

    Ha Ha I am so Beta Mum for this – yes most items are labelled with biro, we have the obligatory Star Wars lunch box and y boy never ever manages to carry his book bag…. Hope you got a better picture than us! #EatSleepBlogRT

    Reply
  • Rachel (Lifeofmyfamilyandme) 10/09/2016 at 10:30 am

    I write with biro pen every year lol! I always think as long as they enter the school gates suitably dressed then i’ve done my job lol! #EatSleepBlogRt

    Reply
  • Becca | Pears and Chocolate Sauce 10/09/2016 at 1:51 pm

    Hope the first few days have gone OK! Don’t worry, when I taught reception most children were closer to Beta than Alpha 🙂 #eatsleepblogrt #triballove

    Reply
  • Shoebox of Memories 10/09/2016 at 8:22 pm

    Love the comment about the Star Wars bag.

    My cub’s hair has the ability to look a mess within seconds of being styled. She takes after me. I like the urchin look. She wears it so well!

    #KCACOLS

    Reply
  • the frenchie mummy 13/09/2016 at 6:29 am

    so cute and Star Wars is a must have! lol #Chucklemums

    Reply
  • Sarah - Mum & Mor 13/09/2016 at 6:40 am

    I’m kind of conflicted. They don’t do school uniforms here in Denmark, so I don’t have to pay a small fortune and worry about the girl scuffing formal shoes and such, but on the other hand uniforms look smart and well… uniform. I’ll miss that aspect of being a British parent. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Nursery Whines 13/09/2016 at 7:51 am

    FC1 will fit in a lot better in the playground as a Beta Mummy child for sure. #Chucklemums

    Reply
  • Squirmy Popple 13/09/2016 at 7:52 am

    Just popping back from #chucklemums – still loving this doodle. I will never be able to get the Popple out of the house in a clean, ironed uniform. Ever.

    Reply
  • Beastlyboys blog 13/09/2016 at 9:06 am

    I can relate – my children look like they’ve been dragged through a hedge as soon as we get to school despite being dressed in clean dry clothes only 10 minutes before. It’s a skill, it really is!

    Reply
  • tammymum 13/09/2016 at 9:09 am

    hehehe I love these, no doubt when the time comes my children will be going to school with breakfast still on their face too! God help us! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Fran Back With a Bump 13/09/2016 at 9:22 am

    Even if I had all the alpha mummy shit my kids would still have one sock longer than the other! #chucklemums

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  • notaneffingfairytale 13/09/2016 at 9:32 am

    Beta mummy is my hero. I would stick my fingers up behind alpha mummy’s back and blow raspberries.
    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Alison (MadHouseMum) 13/09/2016 at 10:28 am

    I am totally and utterly with you and you know what, by daughter 4 I didn’t give a monkeys 🙂 Love your drawings and a brilliant new badge design. Alison x #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Fizzyjazzle 13/09/2016 at 10:45 am

    I hope it went well! I have started sussing out the alpha mums at nursery since reading your blog, praying we don’t get party invites! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Louise Pink Pear Bear 13/09/2016 at 12:10 pm

    I wrote the wrong class on my daughter’s book bag last year. That was a really really good start as the teacher had to point it out after a few weeks. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • kristin mccarthy 13/09/2016 at 4:49 pm

    My girls looked fabulous on the first day…even par on the second day. Two weeks in…hot mess city and I am even worse! Messy mom bun, sweat pants, no make up, coffee stain on my shirt.

    what is below beta???

    That would probably be me…
    #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Turning Up In Devon 13/09/2016 at 7:22 pm

    It’s exciting that you now have FC#1 at school because you’ll find there’s sooooooo much subject matter to cover!!! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Right Royal Mother 13/09/2016 at 8:00 pm

    This makes me shudder with fear about next year. But I will be strong. As long as we can manage the transition from pants on the outside of skirts (a current NG trend) I think I can cope with anything. Love it. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Suzanne 13/09/2016 at 8:30 pm

    If I can’t get to work without a breakfast splodge on me then the Child doesn’t stand a chance. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Sarah and Louise 13/09/2016 at 9:16 pm

    Hope it went well.. I too was determined to be super organised and got my girls up and dressed ridiculously early. This meant that by the time 8.30 rolled round, they were both a crumpled mess, covered in tooth paste dribble and their neatly tied hair was now just wild fuzz. #chucklemums

    Reply
  • Lisa Pomerantz 13/09/2016 at 10:28 pm

    For us, there are no uniforms, so each night we navugate the closets and find our outfits. Pick our shoes, choose a stuffy…oy. This part I can handle a but, but if only we had a butler to make lunches and perhaps iron? A mom can dream! #chucklemums M’wah! <3

    Reply
  • Single Mum Speaks 16/09/2016 at 6:43 am

    I have definitely had my fill of school uniform nightmares, but usually from a teacher rather than parent perspective. Best of luck for the little one at school, and love all your doodles! #chucklemums

    Reply

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