Beta Mummy Doesn’t Share Her Chocolate!

Beta Mummy is rather possessive when it comes to her little sweet treats.  (She’s quite happy to share the kids’ chocolate, though, that’s totally fine).

Alpha Mummy probably doesn’t eat chocolate (she’s one of those super-healthy, grow-your-own, gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan, fruitarian, paleo, farmers’ market-buying, non-sugar eating types) but if she did it’d probably be the best chocolate in the world…  And it goes without saying that her children have never even tasted chocolate, and have no wish to either, so Alpha Mummy can sit in quiet enjoyment without being pestered.

Beta Mummy hides in the bog with the door locked, stuffing as much chocolately goodness into her fat face as she can whilst shouting through the bathroom door to the kids, “Two minutes, kids, mummy’s just doing a poo. Yes it is a big one – very big. Yes it is stinky. TWO MORE MINUTES!!!!” between desperate mouthfuls.  Meanwhile the children know exactly what she’s doing because despite them apparently being deaf  99% of the time and unable to hear their mother’s pleas to tidy their bedrooms, they suddenly acquire the audio-ability of a bat when there’s chocolate or sweets about.

Whoever thought it’d come to this?!  Reduced to hiding your chocolate in your knicker drawer and other random locations around the house, and eating it sitting it on the loo (with head buried in the fridge is another good one) so you don’t have to give most of it away to the tiny terrorists.  Still, treasure every moment, eh?!  😉


Whilst we’re at it – serious question – what is your favourite chocolate? I’m rather partial to a bar of Cadbury’s Whole Nut.  Fruit and Nut is gross, though, why would you ruin chocolate by adding raisins?!  My other favourite is Lindt – especially the gold bunnies, and especially the solid ears of the gold bunny….drool.

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