Bath Time with Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy

Bath time in my house has never been part of our daily routine.  Being in the bath has never seemed to relax my kids – quite the opposite in fact – so it never made sense to do the whole dinner-bath-bed thing.  Also my kids are massive soap-dodgers, and I have zero energy left to argue by the end of the day.  Unfortunately it turns out that boys really start to stink as they get older…so every so often I have to dunk them, kicking and screaming, into the tub.

In the Alpha Mummy household, bath time is a most relaxing, bonding affair.  Of course, it’s rare that the Alpha children ever get dirty or smelly, but Alpha Mummy still insists on a daily bath at 6pm prompt.  Bath time is a chance for the family to calm down together after a day of good, clean fun, and it’s an integral part of the bedtime routine.

Alpha Mummy having a lovely relaxing bath with her lovely children

Beta Mummy is in the bath with her kids, against her better judgement.  She figured that seeing as she was bound to get drenched by them anyway, she might as well save on her water bills and actually get into the bath.  What she failed to realise is that the kids’ bath is approximately 2 inches deep, and within minutes, the lukewarm water is mostly on the floor of the bathroom.

So now the pyjamas are wet, the bath mat is wet, Beta Mummy’s clothes are wet, the towels are wet, the floor is wet, everything is wet wet wet (and love is NOT all around).  Having spent half an hour chasing the children around the house in order to strong-arm them into the damn bath, they now appear to be having a gay old time, splashing about and trying to kill each other, as per usual.  Plus taking great delight in pointing out all of their poor mum’s squidgy bits…  But soon one of them is crying, the other is laughing, one leaps out of the bath after a couple of minutes and is demanding to be “wrapped up like a tiny baby” and the other won’t get out because he knows that means bedtime.

Beta Mummy attempts a very unrelaxing bath with the feral children

Next time, Beta Mummy will have a bath with her posh special occasion bubble bath AFTER the kids are in bed.  And there will be wine.


These doodles were first featured on my mate Fran’s blog, Whinge Whinge Wine – take a look!

1 Comment

  • Phil Refuelled 16/09/2017 at 8:57 pm

    Yeah… I notice Alpha Mummy has one of those Edwardian-style-but-very-new baths with claw feet and a four-figure price tag (excluding fitting.) Beta Mummy’s is more it-was-there-when-we-moved-in style… 😂

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