Baking: Alpha Mum/Beta Mum-style

Honestly.  Whoever suggested to me that baking would be a “fun” activity to do with my two toddlers deserves to have the rock-hard, snot-infected products of said baking venture shoved up their arse.

Seriously? How is this fun? Half an hour of complete carnage as my kitchen is turned into a floury war zone, the kids fighting over who gets to stir/measure/lick, me losing my shit as an entire jar of cinnamon gets merrily chucked into the food mixer, and then the end product looks and tastes like utter crap.  And then there’s about three hours’ worth of cleaning and washing up to do as an added bonus.

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I want to be like Alpha Mummy.

 

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Turns out I am not like Alpha Mummy.

Yet somehow I end up agreeing to bake with my kids time and time again.  A bit like childbirth, I forget how painful and messy it’s going to be.  I guess the “promise” of cake at the end of it is, like a squishy newborn baby, just too tempting.

30 Comments

  • mumdaysblog 22/03/2016 at 7:42 pm

    So funny! My mum seems to have taken on the role of baking with the kids and weirdly they do as she asks rather than smashing eggs on the floor, walls or in their own hair. I highly recommend delegating baking! There again, I had 2 c-sections so I sort of delegated that too!

    Reply
  • rightroyalmother 23/03/2016 at 2:13 pm

    This is so funny. I am absolutely a beta mother when it comes to baking. The only thing I’ve every attempted is fruit scones, which ALWAYS end up like anaemic stones and the dog gets most of the mixture, whilst the toddler covers herself in flour. So glad I’m not the only one who has wine at 3pm too. Thanks for posting this – made me laugh A LOT. #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
  • Cheryl 23/03/2016 at 6:34 pm

    I’m with you! It always seems like a good idea at the time and always ends in carnage and / or an argument with LOTS of clearing up! #BloggerClubUK

    Reply
  • Becky, Cuddle Fairy 29/03/2016 at 6:57 am

    LOL I am still laughing at the reality drawing! And the wine! My kids love to help bake & cook but I don’t just let them off with it as I can’t stand the thought of that second drawing as a reality. They get to pour things in – carefully. No stirring of flour. So I guess they help but don’t get free reign. Thanks so much for linking up with us! #bloggerclubuk x

    Reply
  • ethannevelyn.com 02/04/2016 at 10:36 am

    I know exactly what you mean… it does kind of get easier as they get older – as you can ask them to wash up. However, they don’t wash up as clean as you – so you might as well wash up yourself! lol! Thank you so much for linking up your lovely post with us. #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  • ShoeboxofM 04/04/2016 at 6:40 am

    The pictures made me laugh. It’s all Pinterest’s fault.

    I found that the way to make it fun is to accept it will be more like the second picture than the first and go with it. It makes for more interesting stories when it goes wrong than a perfect cupcake or cornflake cake!

    #FabFridayPost

    Reply
    • The Adventures of Beta Mummy 04/04/2016 at 6:45 am

      Yes, I have definitely lowered my standards! I know now from experience that my kitchen will take about a week to recover…! 😉

      Reply
  • Bread 04/04/2016 at 4:54 pm

    Yeah surely doing anything that could vaguely be messy with a single toddler is a bad idea, let alone with too. Love the drawings. #justanotherlinky

    Reply
  • Liz Lowe 06/04/2016 at 1:24 pm

    Brilliant! Been there… #bestandworst

    Reply
  • Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) 06/04/2016 at 8:20 pm

    hehe my daughter constantly eats everything. Butter, raisins, chocolate chips and I may as well be talking to a brick wall. She loves it though. One yes…two noooooo! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    Reply
  • Nursery Whines 12/04/2016 at 12:13 pm

    My baby is still to young to bake, but she will have to compete with me to lick the bowl. My mother’s obsession with salmonella led me to declare, ‘When I am old enough to bake myself I will eat the entire mixture raw.’ #chucklemums

    Reply
  • mumzilla 12/04/2016 at 12:19 pm

    Ahahaha. I’ve managed to resist baking all Easter, except the scrambled eggs incident this morning. *smug face* Thanks for linking #cuddlemums

    Reply
  • Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine 12/04/2016 at 1:36 pm

    You know M&S sell amazing baked goods, no mess, no tantrums! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • mumworkrepeat 12/04/2016 at 9:17 pm

    Brillian,as always, how could I have missed this one? Now I see why you nearly unfollowed me over my Ella’s Kitchen tweet at the weekend 🙂 Baking is on a different level though,I’m not ready for that yet! #chucklemums

    Reply
  • mumworkrepeat 12/04/2016 at 9:17 pm

    Brilliant even!

    Reply
  • Baby Anon 20/04/2016 at 9:19 pm

    Ha ha ha. My Mother would be completely with you. She always says: ‘What’s the point of making a couple of buns when you can pop down Greggs and get some for a couple of quid.’ My Mother is a classy lady….ermmmm. #PuddingLove

    Reply
  • Petite Pudding (@petite_pudding) 22/04/2016 at 12:39 pm

    Another fantastic post – I leave all the baking to my mother in law because to be honest even if the kids weren’t involved I wouldn’t have an edible cake at the end and the mess would still be horrendous. Mary berry I am not! Thanks for linking up again #PuddingLove

    Reply
  • whitecamellias 22/04/2016 at 1:29 pm

    Another brilliant post.I think I might prefer childbirth to baking with kids as I almost always have a panic attack because I’m so OCD when it comes to baking and crafts! Must get help I think. #PuddingLove

    Reply
  • To Arizona......and beyond 23/04/2016 at 5:54 am

    Love the illustration, especially the Cath Kidston pinky, standard mummy attire! #puddinglove

    Reply
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  • thehippychristianmum 22/05/2016 at 7:55 pm

    Brilliant. I literally laughed out loud. 3pm wine! hehe. Followed 🙂

    Reply
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  • Jo Sandelson 10/01/2017 at 11:26 pm

    Never eat anything brown made by children.

    Reply
  • Kelly 20/03/2017 at 10:09 am

    First sentence made me laugh. for me i plan it all out, toddler starts then loses interest walks off and I’m left with a huge mess to clean up which takes longer than whole activity would have taken. so baking will have to wait till he’s much older.

    Reply

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