Monthly Archives : October 2016

Soft Play: a Beta Mummy Utopia


Yes it’s true, I love soft play.  In a sort of hate it kind of way.  I love it because I can basically abandon my children in soft play (yes I’m that parent) and let them get on with it whilst I sit back safe in the knowledge that they’re unlikely to come to any serious harm.  It is called soft play after all – what could possibly go wrong?

Chucklemums Linky Week 26


Hello! It’s Tuesday, it’s 7 o’clock, iiiiitttt’s…CHUCKLEMUMS!

More significantly, it’s Chucklemums Week 26, which indicates that it’s a whole half a year since this linky started, bringing you the funniest parenting blogs from around the internet.

Chucklemums logo showing a large dinosaur drinking some wine, with a handbag. Beta Mummy is riding on the back, also with wine, and a pink Mouse sits on the tail.

Beta Daddies Series – Introducing A Life Just Ordinary


Welcome one, welcome all – drum roll please for my brand spanking new Beta Daddy Series (cue canned applause, whoops, etc).  As I explained previously, I have been asked many times about whether or not there is a Beta Daddy.  The short answer is no, not in my house, but just as there are many many Beta Mummies, surely there must be plenty of Beta Daddies out there too…?

I have a cracker of a post for you today written by James from A Life Just Ordinary – and he’s even done his own doodle to go with it – amazing!

Beta Mummies – We’ve Made It to Half Term!


We are approaching the first half term holiday of the school year.  How quickly did that go?!  It seems like only yesterday that I was writing about Feral Child #1’s first day at school, and now we’re already at half term.  I ponder  the gradual decline of my son’s appearance and general demeanor as fatigue sets in, on his part and mine.  I think we are all – teachers included, I’m sure – ready for a week off from the school routine to re-set and re-group before the madness of the Christmas season.

Chucklemums Linky Week 25


Hello! It’s Tuesday, which can only mean one thing – it’s time for Chucklemums!  Pull up a pew and join us for another week of blogging funny.

Chucklemums logo showing a large dinosaur drinking some wine, with a handbag. Beta Mummy is riding on the back, also with wine, and a pink Mouse sits on the tail.

Doodle of Alpha Mummy joyfully skipping through the autumn leaves

Why I f*cking hate the Autumn!


Autumn (or Fall, for my trans-Atlantic readers).  I hate it.  My Instagram feed is full of  people looking happy in cable-knit sweaters and kicking through leaves with their cherubic ruddy-cheeked children.  Slow-cooker suppers and cinnamon lattes and plans for Halloween and Bonfire Night parties and cosy nights in.  But I make no excuses for being a miserable old bat when it comes to this time of year.

How to be a good friend to a newly-single mum


Splitting up with a long-term partner is really shit.  Whether it was her decision or his decision, on good terms or bad, it’s bound to be painful and upsetting.  Throw a kid or two (or more) into the mix, and things become even more difficult.  If you have a single mummy friend who has recently gone through a split from her husband or partner, here are some ways that you could be a good friend to her…

broken heart

Run, Beta Mummy, Run!


Running seems to be a bit of a trendy thing to do these days – stagger out to buy milk on a Saturday morning and you’ll see hundreds of the healthy buggers galloping along the street or jaunting around the park, making the rest of us look bad.

I bloody hate running. Or jogging. Or indeed anything which involves pounding up and down (ooh er), pelvic floor straining and breasts wildly out of control and scaring the children.

Chucklemums Linky Week 23


Greetings Chuckleheads! Here we are again for yet another week of the frankly awesome Chucklemums Linky, Week 23.  That’s almost six months, scary. Happy October, one and all (I fucking hate October).

Chucklemums logo showing a large dinosaur drinking some wine, with a handbag. Beta Mummy is riding on the back, also with wine, and a pink Mouse sits on the tail.