Death by laundry…


Dirty laundry (the literal kind) is the bane of my existence.  I don’t know where it all comes from but it seems to breed like some kind of evil comic-book fungus.  Occasionally I find actual fungus, if I manage to get somewhere near the dark, dank depths of the lower reaches of my laundry basket.

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Beta Mummy Doesn’t Share Her Chocolate!


Beta Mummy is rather possessive when it comes to her little sweet treats.  (She’s quite happy to share the kids’ chocolate, though, that’s totally fine). Alpha Mummy probably doesn’t eat chocolate (she’s one of those super-healthy, grow-your-own, gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan, fruitarian, paleo, farmers’ market-buying, non-sugar eating types) but if she did it’d probably be the best chocolate in the world… …

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A Beta Mummy Guide to Doing a Baby Sale


I recently sold a load of my baby crap at a nearly-new sale.  It wasn’t an NCT one (I’m not sure my shabby offerings would be welcome there), but there are loads of the same sort of thing around these days.  Great for picking up a bargain or three as a buyer, and also great for getting rid of your…

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Beta Mummy Dreads…WORLD BOOK DAY


Thursday 1st March 2018 is World Book Day. Beta Mummies, do not panic! I repeat, DO NOT PANIC! (OK, panic just a little bit, after all this is one of the most dreaded days of the school year for useless mothers like me who don’t do sewing or crafty shit).

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Chicken Pox Survival: A Beta Mummy Guide.


Chicken pox is one of those crappy rites of passage we go through as parents – along with weaning, potty training, accidentally ingesting a bit of your child’s puke (no? Just me?), etc.  We have recently been through this particular delight, so I thought I’d write my very own Beta Mummy guide to coping with it.

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Beta Mummy’s Attempt at Leaving the House


Leaving the house becomes a military exercise once you have children. A military exercise that involves pain, carnage, tears, shouting, and possibly loss of life, or at least loss of the will to live. These days, I have one child to get to nursery, one to get to school, and myself to get to work. Thanks to “flexible working”, I…

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Beta Mummy gets Board to Death


I used to love a good board game, me. Scrabble, Monopoly, Rapidough – there’s a game for every sort of occasion, from a cosy Winter’s afternoon in with your love, to an increasingly-drunken night with your best mates.  Sigh.  I can’t remember the last time I played a proper grown ups game.  Now my occasional forays into board games involve…

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Say Mama…or Why Does Daddy Get All The Glory?!


What were your babies’ first words? My babies are not really babies any more.  I am Mum, not Mummy or Mama.  At the time of writing they are 3 and 5 years old, and smelly and argumentative.  They answer back, dispute just about everything I say, and scream and shout until I genuinely have to insert ear plugs. But once…

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