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Be(ta) My Valentine…


The vomit-inducing avalanche of red and pink hearts, novelty chocolates and fluffy handcuffs bombarding my senses every time I leave the house or switch on the TV can only mean one thing…the January sales are far behind us and it’s time to crack on with the next Capitalist date in the diary – Valentine’s Day.

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banana loaf

Beta Mummy COOKS…Easy Banana Loaf


Here we are again for yet another recipe in my Beta Mummy…COOKS! series.  This time, I’m going to treat you to one of our family favourites, banana loaf, something which I can guarantee the Feral Children will both eat.  That is because it is cake – what child doesn’t like cake?  And the absolute best thing about this recipe is that…

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A doodle of 5 friends holding hands, sillouetted against a setting sun.

Why Every Woman Needs a Wolf Pack


My wolf pack is like a second family.  My wolf pack is a group of women who are like sisters to me, and who I can rely upon for virtually anything.  Despite knowing each other for only a few years – we met through baby groups – we love and would do anything for each other as though we have…

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5.56am


5.56am.  A time I see a little too often for my liking.  I hear a “Muuuuuuuuuum” calling from the bathroom, or a “thud thud thud thud” stomping along the hallway followed by a crash as the door is enthusiastically thrown open.  I mutter “for fuck’s sake” under my breath, open one eye and peer in the direction of my radio…

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Christmas Baking with Alpha Mummy & Beta Mummy


There are certain activities that a good mother simply MUST do with her children at Christmas in order to portray that perfect image of family bliss on social media.  These include decorating the Christmas tree, attending the nativity at church, visiting Father Christmas at a suitably expensive grotto experience, taking an adorable Christmas jumper-clad family portrait, and of course, festive…

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Nose-picking Shepherds and Bum-scratching Kings


Last week it was FC#1’s school nativity.  I like my son’s school for many reasons, but I particularly like the fact that they do a proper old-fashioned nativity.  None of this weird “holiday lobster/zebra/hamster” shit.  I am not remotely religious (far from it), but at this time of year you just can’t beat a good old sing-song at the local…

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Decorating the Tree: are you an Alpha or a Beta?


December is upon us – how did that happen?  This year has whizzed past and it seems like only yesterday I was grumbling and cursing as I forced all the Christmas decorations back into their boxes and gazed despairingly around at my naked, filthy-with-a-dusting-of-glitter house.  But here we are again. Christmas. Can I tell you a secret?  You may be surprised…

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Beta Daddy Series – Introducing Man of my Family


Welcome back for the third guest post in my Beta Daddy Series, where I shine the spotlight on the failings and celebratings of Beta (or Alpha) Dads, and deflect some scrutiny away from my own shortcomings for once.  As I explained previously, I have been asked many times about whether or not there is a Beta Daddy.  The short answer is…

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Beta Mummy Does the Downward Dog


Oh brilliant – yoga! I thought.  A form of exercise which involves a sit down, a nice stretch, and a bit of a snooze at the end.  That sounds right up my street, much more appealing than *shudder* running.  Despite my Beta Mummy status, I too now could be a lean, lithe, green smoothie-drinkie healthy type, just like Alpha Mummy! Sadly, and…

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Beta_Papa Tont

Beta Daddy Series – Introducing Papa Tont


Welcome back for the second in my Beta Daddy Series, where I shine the spotlight on the failings and celebratings of Beta (or Alpha) Dads, and deflect some scrutiny away from my own shortcomings for once.  As I explained previously, I have been asked many times about whether or not there is a Beta Daddy.  The short answer is no, not…

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